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Dog Dad in Charge ~ What Didn’t Happen?

Poor Tom. As soon as I headed to town to see my mom Tuesday afternoon, things went to #*!!. When I returned a couple of hours later, I saw signs of things amiss. Here is the sad, sad tale.

As I drove up the driveway toward the house, I noticed our living room rug draped over the split-rail fence — a sure sign of a pet-bodily-function accident.

Tom met me at the door. I shrugged toward the rug and asked, “What happened?”

With a beleaguered sigh, he answered, “What didn’t happen?!”

Apparently, as soon as I pulled away to leave, Ginko suffered a projectile bout of vomiting.

[I had let the dogs poke around outside for an hour earlier in the day, somewhat unsupervised. He probably ate something he should NOT have eaten.]

While Tom lugged the area rug outside to hose it off, [he later learned] Lilly had eaten her disposable pee pad that we place inside her washable dog diapers.

How did Tom figure that out?

As soon as he came back inside, Lilly’s diaper became suddenly “pointy,” which means she is pooping. We have a really crass nickname for it, but I don’t want to offend anyone with my salty humor (after nearly 5 months of total canine incontinence).

Tom raced Lilly to the back door, but he made the mistake of taking off her diaper too soon, which sent poops shooting all over the kitchen floor.

Honestly, they fly out like a marshmallow gun … or as it’s known here … playdoh poop factory.

While cleaning up THAT mess, Tom realized there was no pee pad in the diaper. He found 1-2 bites of it left inside Lilly’s upstairs crate. The rest? We can only assume she ate.

Monday was Lilly’s first official day without lunch. We suspect she was either hungry or worried after Ginko’s barfing incident. Plus, the dogs have NOT adjusted to the time winter time change, making them hungry “early.”

So, there you have it.

My sweet, overwrought hubby did his best, but Lilly and Ginko posed too many challenges too close together. He was fried by the time I got home.

I tried to take the higher ground, but I did have to blurt out things like:

  • Welcome to my world.
  • This happened on your watch.

When I posted on our Champion of My Heart Facebook Fan Page, after Lilly’s last diaper-eating incident (just days after another true emergency dietary indiscretion), one of our fans joked that >>> living with dogs is like agreeing to live with TODDLERS forever.

She was right.

Team Dog teamed up on Dog Daddy, and the results were NOT pretty.

We just had to laugh.



Roxanne Hawn

Trained as a traditional journalist and based in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, USA, I'm a full-time freelance writer for magazines, websites, and private clients. My areas of specialty include everything in the lifestyles arena, including health and home, personal finance and other consumer interests, relationships and trends, people and business profiles ... and, of course, all things pet related. I don't just love dogs. I need them in my life. Seriously.

Jana Rade - November 9, 2012

Poor Tom. I think my hubby would run away from home! He does VERY poorly with icky stuff. Between diarrhea and vomit I’d pick the vomit. Both at the same time? Might as well, right?

Good that you can laugh instead of crying.

Jodi - November 8, 2012

Sometimes laughing is the only thing to do. I do hope everyone is feeling better!

Jen - November 7, 2012

Oh my 🙁 He did what he could, I’m sure.

I came home from work one day last winter to find out that Elka had mysteriously had a poop-splosion in a blue wingback chair that we (used to) have. Not only did she pretty much fill the chair, but she also tried to run away from her butt in the middle of…the incident..and ollied from the loveseat to the couch before she could be herded into the kitchen. We actually had a friend over at the time in the midst of helping house clean, which was a total blessing.

    Roxanne Hawn - November 8, 2012

    Oh, no! My worse was when Ginko had diarrhea while I was doing a work / phone interview. He left huge messes just inside every door in the house. Poor sweetie. He was TRYING to get outside, but all the doors were closed. It was a monster mess to clean up when I got off the phone.

Julie - November 7, 2012

WOW – they really made your hubby work while you were away 🙂 I’m glad you both still have a sense of humor!!

    Roxanne Hawn - November 8, 2012

    You have to laugh … or you’ll cry at this point.

aTXtumbleweed - November 7, 2012

My hubby won’t clean up dog vomit…. He will actually run the other way!! I do make him pick up the poop in the yard so I guess it is only fair that I clean up what comes out the other end!!

    Roxanne Hawn - November 8, 2012

    Tom helps a lot. I do most of the scooping, but I’m glad he was home for the carpet incident because I’m not strong enough to lug it outside myself. I would have had to spot clean and wait for his help.

Vicki Cook - November 7, 2012

Poor doggy daddy – I shouldn’t laugh at his expense, but it is rather funny. Men really aren’t equipped to deal with the bodily functions of children and animals!

    Roxanne Hawn - November 8, 2012

    As I told Sam, Tom actually does really well with icky things. This was just too much, and he knew I was going to give him grief over the diaper eating.

Sam - November 7, 2012

My husband doesn’t cope well with doggy incidents either. It never ceases to amaze me.


    Roxanne Hawn - November 8, 2012

    Actually, Tom does great, but this was just too much at once. He has helped me piece together pieces of vomited tote bag when Lilly ate that. He sat with me in the exam room, when we gave her the vomiting shot when she ate those tampons recently. He actually has less of a gag reflex than I do. I mean I can do the clean up, but eeew.

KB - November 7, 2012

I guess that, at some point, you do just have to laugh because it is like a non-stop toddler-festival. The pups really put one over on Tom. I’m glad that the evening got better!

I feel certain that you’ve thought of this… but would a mid-day frozen kong help Lilly with the transition to no lunch?

    Roxanne Hawn - November 8, 2012

    Yes, KB. Thanks. We’re giving her fruits and veggies in food toys at lunch instead. I hope it helps, as she adjusts.

Jackie - November 7, 2012

Wow, a bodily function trifecta. I fear my hubby wouldn’t hold up under such strain!

Sheryl - November 7, 2012

Oh, no. What else can possibly go wrong? At least you are sill able to laugh!

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