As suggested by frequent blog readers, I got myself a copy of Leslie McDevitt’s book, “Control Unleashed.” I read it once straight through, and now I’m going back to re-read, highlight key things and mark sections that explain how to teach certain core behaviors to the program. On first read, I must admit that I rode quite an emotional roller coaster. Then again, it’s not not uncommon for me to bounce from hope to despair in my work with Lilly.
The book has such good buzz. Despite my reservations that it would not say anything new, I went ahead and got a copy. I can honestly tell you that this book indeed says things that others don’t or won’t say. It also offers training ideas that I’ve not seen anywhere else.
I even felt a huge surge of hope when I read about Leslie’s dog Snap, who rockets between extremes of shut down and reactivity just like Lilly. Honestly, I have seen other dogs that shut down, but never as dramatically as Lilly does. I’ve also seen scads of dogs with reactivity problems who go on to great agility careers. But, I’ve never really seen a dog that does both the way Lilly does. It made me feel better to read about Snap.
Then, however, I felt awful when I read her list of which dogs were OK for Control Unleashed classes and which ones weren’t. I suspect that Lilly would not be allowed in a group class like this. Reading that crushed me.
But, as I kept going, I saw strategies that I thought might work for Lilly. The way Leslie structures her classes makes a lot of sense to me. So, then I felt a glimmer of hope again.
I’m already working on shaping some of the behaviors. (I’ll write more about that later this week.) And, that part so far is pretty funny. It’s hard and takes patience, but it’s really fun to watch Lilly think and figure things out.
From there, I began imagining Lilly doing great in a Control Unleashed class. I pretended like someone I know might just read the book and start offering the classes here. I developed a nice little fantasy about the whole thing.
Then, reality set in. Saturday, I tried to do a little work from the book on my own. It went OK, but the steps are so tiny, the progress so slight that I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach as I drove home.
There it was again. That incredible isolation that comes from struggling through behavior challenges alone. It’s like I’m standing in a desert, where each horizon seems millions of miles away. And, I’m going nowhere fast.
When I was elected president of the Colorado Authors’ League, I told the banquet attendees that I felt like the house elf from the Harry Potter books. I said that I felt as if I stood in a tattered pillowcase in a room full of people wearing Chanel.
I get that same feeling when everyone I know is trialing and Q-ing, and I’m still the girl with the dog who won’t get up off the ground.
Sure, I might get there some day, but until then I have a million and one things that have to be desensitized, counter-conditioned and reframed.
And, today, (have your noticed I whine more on Mondays?), it feels beyond daunting.
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