My rotator cuff hurts. Shooting pains when I work out. Razor-thin stabs when I sleep. I blamed a mistake during a workout, until the real cause crept to mind. My shoulder hurts because I play so much fetch with Lilly. And, here’s the thing … As a pup, Lilly hated fetching. So, it’s entirely my fault.
At first, she simply didn’t understand the game.
With the disdain only a smart dog can muster, Lilly looked at me like I was a complete idiot. I swear she thought, “I just brought that back. Why did you throw it again?”
When our first obedience trainer recommended fetch as the perfect way to burn off an active dog’s excess energy, he conceded that some of us quietly thought, “Great. My dog won’t play fetch.”
Add in a few expletives, and that’s pretty much defines my inner dialogue that day.
Fetching Food
His solution? Play fetch with food. No, the dog doesn’t actually bring back the food. But throwing it sets up the pattern of running back and forth. Over time, you introduce the ball (or whatever) and trade it for food on the return.
The process, he reminded us, also introduced the chance to train several commands:
– Fetch
– Come
– Drop it
It worked. So, if your dog won’t fetch, I highly recommend it.
Granted, the category of item Lilly deigns to fetch is limited to a very special foam-filled ball, certain stuffed toys, and (I kid you not) sticks, including kindling she steals from the wood pile.
My girl, who once turned her small black nose sneered at even the idea of fetch, now simply won’t stop. She’s relentless in ways beyond enumeration.
I’m lucky in one respect. While she waits me out, staring intently in hopes I might throw the toy, she is mostly silent. (Like right now, she’s quietly fixated on my every move.) My husband, however, isn’t so fortunate. She’s figured out how to bark until Daddy gives in. And, he always does.
He’s Captain Chaos to her General Disarray (full credit to “South Park” for those hilarious puns).
But, I too throw the ball. I throw, and throw, and throw.
We even play fetch with snowballs sometimes.
Fetching – Applied Math
Lilly drove me to applied math theory to our fetching efforts. Using fetch to tame Lilly’s bottomless energy requires intricate calculations:
12 tosses x hilly terrain = 1 hour of peace
25 tosses x flat pasture = 1, maybe 2, hours of quiet
50 tosses x any surface = an evening off
Now … if only I could teach her to throw the ball herself. (My shoulder needs a rest.) The person who invented flyball must have had the same thought about making crazy fetching dogs happier.
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