Over the weekend, Holly posed a very keen question about the ongoing Katie saga. She asked, “I guess my question would be … not can you give Katie a home, but should
you.” That, dear readers, is the issue, isn’t it? It keeps me up at night, which considering I’m still getting over being quite sick, is not good for my health — physical, emotional, or otherwise. To explore this dilemma, I pose the following imaginary adoption interview.
What are you looking for in a dog?
I like smart, energetic, athletic dogs. I like lean, medium-sized, short-coated dogs. I like handler-focused dogs that take well to direction of that energy. I’ll work hard to provide physical and mental exercise, but I also need dogs to be “good” in the house since I work at home in a job, where I have to make every opportunity happen. I also like having a dog that is affectionate and can easily go places with me. (Past blog post on what I want in my next dog)
What kind of dogs have you had in the past?
A Dalmatian, a small Lab-mix, our current Lab-Greyhound mix (Ginko), and our current Border Collie (Lilly). Always two at a time. Two has always seemed like the perfect number. One for each of us. Plus, it’s generally what I can handle in the house, what I can afford to feed, what I can afford to provide top-notch medical care for.
Why is a one-on-one relationship important to you?
I’m a very loyal, monogamous-minded person. My fear is that having more than one dog each means the dogs won’t be as bonded to us as we’d like … or that I won’t be able to give my all to any of them or all of them. The bond I have with Lilly, in particular, is VERY important to me. I worry she would feel slighted if some of my attention went to another dog.
Why do you want a third dog?
We don’t.
You realize Katie doesn’t fit your criteria considering she’s a big, long-coated, breed that isn’t known for being handler-focused or easily trained.
I do.
Can you afford a third dog?
That’s a good question. We could probably make it work financially, but in these tough economic times, it’s a concern for sure. We’d have to buy a bunch of stuff for her. I’ve made a list.
There are also logistical concerns like transitioning her from a raw diet, finding a crate that works in the house and the car, and figuring out a way to evacuate all three dogs in an emergency since only 2 crates fit in my car.
So, why are you even considering bringing Katie home?
Because she’s incredibly sweet, adores us, and deserves a good home. She’s great with Lilly, and I believe can really help Lilly learn some valuable things. The thought of losing her from Lilly’s life is terrible to me. I think she’s already helped a lot. The best option would be for her to stay in her current home, but spend time with us several times a week, but that isn’t on the table.
This sounds like a head/heart problem.
It is. Common sense says this is NOT a good idea because it goes against so many of our longstanding household rules/agreements, but we want to help Katie. Our hearts say, “DO THIS!” Our heads warn, “Holy crap!”
Every morning, I wake up excited to see how the visit goes. Every night, I go to bed worrying about the reality of the decision, after having spend several hours with all three dogs. Plus, it’s becoming quite a distraction, even during the workday, and I simply cannot keep that up much longer without repercussions.
I’m a very decisive person. Typically, my heart and my head agree. So, this is hard for me.
Thanks, KB. I knew you’d added S somewhat recently. I’m glad it’s worked out well for you.
I suppose if I wasn’t feeling so much time and financial pressure right now, the process might be easier. Mostly, this week, it’s feeling like a strain.
Thanks, Cathy, I was hoping you would weigh in. You know how much I value your opinion on dog selection.
Thanks, Brenda. It’s both the inside wildness factor and her size that’s hard for us. Our big boy Ginko is part greyhound, so we can vouch for the couch potato factor, and we’d hoped Katie would fit that model, but she doesn’t (yet). I’ve talked to her current mom about it. Of all the Borzoi she’s had over the years, Katie is BY FAR the most playful she’s ever seen.
Inside the house, it feels like too much dog (for us) when all three are moving around.
When I brought her home Weds, Katie ran straight into a crate and waited for her dinner, so she is used to a crate, but I don’t think they close the door very often. But, at least she’s familiar with the concept.
This is such a dilemma.
Having gone through a transition from 2 to 3 dogs recently, I didn’t find that it diminished my bond with either of the original dogs. I still have my very special relationship with one of the dogs. That’s inevitable for me because I tend to have strongly loyal relationships (like you mentioned about yourself in the posting). I think that your bond with Lilly wouldn’t be changed – especially if you still make special time for just you and her.
I do think, from what you’ve said, that Lilly might be emotionally much stronger from learning from Katie. I don’t think that would make Lilly love you any less – she’d just be a happier girl.
Every situation is different – and one way or another, I’m sure that Katie will end up in a great home.
Hi Rox,
I can see why you have concerns. It’s certainly not an easy decision by any means. And gosh darned it, she is SO cute-that doesn’t help matters, does it? 😉
For what it’s worth: I have had up to 9 dogs at one time and anyone who met them would tell you that they were, each and every one, very bonded to us, very happy, and never felt left out. I would say that my gang is perhaps more bonded to me than most single-dog situations because I am so focused on my doggie family 🙂 And, my heart has simply grown to accomodate the additional critters…I never found myself less in love with any of my previous dogs once I brought another one in.
Despite having so many furry brothers and sisters to play with, each of my pack has a special relationship with me in addition to the bonds they have with the other dogs.
I know a lot of single dog owners who think that they could never have the same bond with two dogs that they have with one. Not surprisingly, I don’t think that’s true at all 🙂
It is darned scary to be faced with making such a big change in a furry family-and understandably so.
I am sure you will be able to find an answer that your head and heart will both be able to accept.
I know you will be an amazing home for Katie if you take her in. What a tough decision to make! Have you thought about having a puppy slumber party for a long weekend or a week to see how it feels once she is in the house?
Regardless of the outcome I’ve really enjoyed reading your descriptions of the process of introducing Katie to Gingko…thank you for sharing all of that!
Tail wags from the monsters,
Sue
With the possibility of being called a mean curmudgeonly baddie, here is my opinion:
The energy that is required to add a new dog to the pack is enormous. If you have any part of your head/heart that says HOLD UP A MINUTE, then listen to your inner voice. The person who will make Katie a perfect home is not necessarily you. There are other perfect homes out there.
I am giving this advice born from personal experience. We are all softies when it comes to our dogs and can’t imagine that anyone else can be as good at caring as we are. Truly, there are other worthy humans.
Borzio (and Scottish Deerhounds) are amazing dogs. Over the past 20 years I’ve lived with 8, including my current Borzoi, Dralion, and Deerhound, Picaroon. Without expection, as adults, they are the best house dogs – they come inside and find a good spot for a nap. While they don’t seem as responsive to training as a sporting or herding dog they do learn basic house hold rules pretty well. Borzoi are quite sensitive and responsive to your mood.
I admit to being totally biased here. I didn’t realize just how easy they are to live with until we got our first herding dog (Norwegian Buhund) and then rescued a starving Chow-Retriever puppy and then a Border Collie puppy. The last two came to us. We dearly love all of them, but of course we don’t need 5 dogs 🙂 The herding dogs, and even the retriever, are much higher maintenance than the sighthounds.
On the other hand, the last three have taught me more about dogs in the last two years than I learned in the previous 18. My 11 year old daughter has become the primary trainer for the herding dogs, the Buhund is her AKC Junior Showmanship dog and she’s taking the BC to 4H this year.
Katie may need some one-on-one house time so that she can focus on what you’re telling her and not worry about the other dogs. Is she crate trained? When my guys need quiet time they often curl up in their crate.
All that said, each time you add another dog the relationships between you will change. I think that they grow, but you have to be sure and make time to connect with each dog almost every day or you do lose some of the closness. I do it with walks and training time (mostly agility but also some herding, lure coursing and retrieving). With a full time job, husband, 11 yr old and a farm that’s a huge commitement with 5 dogs. Luckily they are very forgiving if I miss a few days here and there.
I wish you all the best.