The Benign Fallout and Celebration
Just a week. That’s all I had to survive between learning Lilly’s lump needed to come out and finding out it was nothing scary. I tried not to worry too much, but clearly I did. My body, in revolt, said, “Oh, @#$@ no!”
Upon hearing the news that Lilly was fine, the lump was nothing dangerous to her future health, I cried … a lot. In fact, I’m pretty sure I cried nearly as much as if it’d been bad news.
Honestly, if it had been bad news, I likely would have flown into realistic, do-something mode and not let myself blither too much.
But, in relief, waves of gratitude flooded right out.
I cried until I could feel every speck of my eyes. The backsides of them to be exact. I could feel the orbs aching inside my head. With pressure building and building, I ended up with an almost-migraine-like headache for the rest of the night.
I had a glass of red wine anyway, if you’re wondering.
We let Lilly sleep with us that night to celebrate, then Saturday … I said to the world:
- Forget you
- Forget what needs to be done
- Forget what I should do
- Forget everything
And, we did what Lilly wanted to do. Since post-op rules nixed any plans for play or hikes or outings, we did what Lilly loves best.
We sat on her hill, the one atop our middle pasture, where she can see the entire valley.
That’s it. We sat there … together. We watched the clouds and the planes fly overhead. We watched neighbors preparing for winter:
- Chopping wood
- Cutting pastures
- Hauling hay
- Moving livestock from one place to another
Once and awhile, she napped. Most of the time, I managed not to think … just to be.
A remarkable day we had. My Lilly and me.
And, when the sun went behind the mountain to our west (about 5 pm, these days), we came inside.
I’d like to say that’s all I needed, but the old bod had other ideas. Sleep and lots of it called like the force of gravity.
I slept 12 straight hours that night.
Lilly, of course, isn’t my only worry, and my respite the day of the good news and that whole last weekend was short-lived. But, we shared what we could in that fleeting space. Just a couple of girls sitting on a hill.