It’s an odd thing to be both hopeful and practical. We will lose this battle eventually. We will, and I accept that. It could be next week. It could be next year. We simply don’t know. Yesterday marked 600 days since the ill-fated rabies vaccine. In February, I would have said getting this far was impossible.
Here is a list of things I’ll miss most when Lilly is gone.
Living with a brilliant, edgy, athletic dog who suffers from long-term, life-threatening brain inflammation means saying goodbye to what once was.
Oh, boy. We have news to share — some good, some (potentially) not so good. DIY chemo, 3 weeks off the immune mediator, this week’s blood and urine tests, and more!
On June 23, 2013, after a 6-day, whirlwind hospice vigil (ending to a long, long illness), my mom died from PSP, a rare, fatal brain disease. That’s why the blog sits silent. After a total of 3 weeks off for hospice / bereavement leave, I’m in triage mode in every area of my life. It’s hard to resume the day-to-day demands, while under the crushing weight of grief. Below you’ll find my tributes to my mommio and a few brief health updates about our intrepid canine heroine.
Honestly. Every time I think Lilly’s medical saga cannot get any worse, something else that’s unexpected / unwelcome happens. On top of the not-good kidney news from earlier this week, on top of figuring out Lilly still has high blood pressure (even though she has been on BP meds since February 2012) … Lilly received an accidental “overdose” of cytarabine (a chemo drug) Wednesday night.
Now that it seems Lilly has been free from bladder bacteria for a few weeks, after nearly 6 straight months of back-to-back bladder infections, we turned our attention to the levels of protein in her urine. Infections can produce high urine protein levels, so we checked again, 2 weeks after Lilly’s last clear urine culture — where her protein level as a 2 (zero is normal). And … it wasn’t good news.
Friday, June 7, 2013, marks 500 days since Lilly received the ill-fated rabies vaccine that has forever changed all of our lives. Her widespread brain and spinal cord inflammation remains and requires numerous daily medications and others (including a chemo drug ~ 4 injections, over 2 days, every 3 weeks) to keep her alive. June also marks a full year since Lilly became completely incontinent (both ways). Taking care of her (and working a lot to pay her veterinary bills) consumes my every day. This is our new norm, and that’s OK … until I look at old videos and remember how strong she used to be. Then I’m super sad.
No real changes in Lilly’s overall condition to report, but here are just a few news items.
I don’t much remember what life with Lilly was like before she got so sick with an adverse rabies vaccine reaction called meningoencephalomyelitis in January 2012. Taking care of her fills my days. Our world has gotten quite small, but we feel joy at even the tiniest “normal” thing — such as playing fetch. Here, friends, is a little video update.
It’s official. I’ve fallen out of the habit of blogging. It’s complicated. Today, for example, my plans to finish work early so that I could clean my house (which is getting scary) got slaughtered by imminent, unexpected work demands from 3 different clients. Since it looks like I’ll be cleaning all evening, I’m trying to make some space in my brain to write a real update about Lilly. Let’s see how it goes.
