Back in January, our blog-pal Cedarfield wrote about a goal-related dilemma. Here’s a link to that discussion. I’ve been thinking about my own goal problem, which is different from hers.
Do you give up on a goal (Ok … dream or fantasy, really) if the work it takes to get there, which you are more than willing to do, might NOT get you where you want to be?
Here’s why I ask. I feel pretty confident these days that I’m well on the road to training away Lilly’s penchant for snarking at other dogs out of fear. The meds and the behavior mod work really do seem to have given her a platform to deal with her anxiety that causes her to lash out. We’re not perfect, but I think it’s getting better.
However, I’m seriously, seriously, seriously beginning to doubt that I’ll ever solve her performance anxiety/shutdown troubles. That means we may NEVER be able to take group agility classes, attend fun matches or trial.
If that’s true, if that’s honest, then what?
Thanks for your ideas. Right now, I’m hung up on the loyalty and “monogamy” of my relationship with Lilly. It’s hard for me to even think of working with another dog of my own. Plus, that would mean breaking our two-dog rule in the house.
I really do want to learn to be a better handler so that when it’s time for my “next” dog things might go better. Maybe I just need to audit more classes, or as Elayne suggests borrow someone’s dog to practice on.
You’re right. Lilly really doesn’t like when other dogs “pay attention” to her. I don’t have any of those good portable jumps, but I think the first step is to get her to play with other dogs close (be it small distance fetch or tug or something). For the most part, unless she’s really shut down, I can get her to do tricks, but that’s not the same as playing.
We’re going to try and incorporate a little jumping into our dates with Pitsch, but I think he’ll have to be a good distance away for it to work.
Maybe you can find someone who is looking for someone to run their dog on a regular basis. I know people who borrow dogs for classes/competition. It’s a lot harder than training your own dog but people do it. I know there was someone on the Colorado list looking for a dog for an exchange student and she got a ton of responses, maybe you could try posting.
Also, if you’re down in town for your Sunday lesson (or whatever) you’re more than welcome to run my dogs out at Biscuit Eaters. Cody will run for you, not sure about Lola. She takes a bit of coaxing but she’d probably do a few obstacles for you if there’s no one else at the field. There may be other injured handlers out there as well who would be happy for someone to run their dogs.
I was thinking as well that maybe you can find someone who is looking for someone to run their dog on a regular basis. I know people who borrow dogs for classes/competition. It’s a lot harder than training your own dog but people do it. I know there was someone on the Colorado list looking for a dog for an exchange student and she got a ton of responses, maybe you could try posting.
Also, if you’re down in town for your Sunday lesson (or whatever) you’re more than welcome to run my dogs out at Biscuit Eaters. Cody will run for you, not sure about Lola. She takes a bit of coaxing but she’d probably do a few obstacles for you if there’s no one else at the field. There may be other injured handlers out there as well who would be happy for someone to run their dogs.
“If that’s true, if that’s honest, then what?”
Then I think you should ask yourself what you really want. Do you want to stick with two dogs and do whatever you can with Lilly or do you want to be able to participate in classes, matches, trials, etc? If the answer is that you want to be able to participate in performance events, then I would consider adding a dog to your household.
Adding another dog doesn’t mean that you’re going to ignore Lilly, stop trying with her, etc. It just means you’re going to expand your training opportunities and challenges. In my experience most dogs are quite happy to have more company and therefore more chances to have fun. And it could have the added benefit of taking some of the pressure off of Lilly of being the only dog you have to train.
Just my opinion, of course, but I’d really think hard about what *you* want because Lilly’s going to be happy either way 🙂
Can you take a practice jump with you to class? Maybe you can get her to do just one jump a few times before your classmates show up then gradually try getting her to jump closer & closer to your classmates. You can use the squirrels for a reward for jumping. I’m supposing she doesn’t like to do agility around the other dogs because she’s afraid of attracting their attention esp. if she’s doing something like running fast over the jumps. She probably knows this will trigger other dogs and doesn’t want to attract those dogs to herself. Cody is the same way with tugging, loves to do it until we get a certain distance from the ring gate where all the dogs are waiting. Then he won’t do it, partly out of stress but I think also partly because he doesn’t want to attract the attention of all the other keyed up dogs.
Yes. Lilly will only be 4 in May. I’ve pretty much accepted never trialing, but we can’t even take private or group agility classes at this point. She sees agility equipment anywhere but home and completely shuts down. Since I cannot afford a full set of agility equipment for home, only playing at home limits my ability to learn how to handle or how to teach her anything but the simplest sequences. I feel like I’m not improving either, if that makes sense.
I guess I’m hoping to eventually run full courses with her somewhere (not competitive), but I fear even that last-chance hope is fading.
Maybe I’m just being morose since spring feels like it will NEVER get here, but I’m feeling SUPER discouraged right now about the shutdown thing.
I can understand the desire to compete but really if Lilly is happy doing agility at home and unhappy doing it with other dogs around why not just enjoy her at home? I’m not saying you should give up on her, only you can decide that, but so what if she doesn’t compete? I know people who’ve retired their dogs from trialing but still let them play at practice because the dogs hate the trial atmosphere. Trials are expensive and tiring and if your dog isn’t having fun then there’s little point.
Lilly’s still quite young isn’t she, 3 or 4? Cody didn’t get over his stressing until he was around 6 and I was ready to give up on him when was 3-4. I had plenty of help and encouragement though. Lilly may very well not grow out of her issues but then again she might, who can say? I’m supposing you’d probably keep up with her behavioral training one way or the other. The best part about working through Cody’s issues is that now he’s an awesome dog, the agility titles are pretty well down the list in importance to me.