I had the opportunity to spend an evening with and to interview Dr. Kevin Fitzgerald of “Emergency Vet” fame last year for a magazine article I wrote about his stand-up comedy career. One thing I asked him was whether dogs or cats were funnier. He told me dogs since cats are too fastidious. Whereas, he teased, “Dogs are like, ‘Hey look at me, I’ve got mustard on my head.'” I was reminded of this snippet when I read some online postings elsewhere a couple weeks ago, where people were joking about having to count stuffed toys to figure out if any were missing and might be stuck in the toilet. Enough people chimed in that they too have this concern, that I had a good laugh. Beyond wondering why they don’t simply put down the lid, I thought … “I wonder what other funny trouble dogs get into.” So, let’s have another contest (deadline for entry Friday, January 25, 2008).
So, please amuse me. What kinds of nutty things has your dog done? In about 100 words, give me your best story. The winner will get something cool for themselves or their dog.
For example, as a pup, Ginko had a penchant for flowers. We have this rod-iron flower pot holder that sat on the patio of our previous house. I’d filled some lovely terracotta pots with pansies or some such, and Ginko broke every single one. I’m not sure if he was sniffing them intently or trying to eat them, but he managed to pull each pot off its ledge onto the concrete patio.
Or, Penelope Grace (our late Dalmatian) once popped and peeled a tennis ball, then ate the felt. She barfed it up a day later, but I didn’t move fast enough, and she ate it again. Thankfully, it passed the other direction without incident, but it did get stuck coming out her behind. I ended up having to grab a huge handful of paper towels to pull the darn thing out. Eeewww! Such methods are still known around our house as a “Mommy Butt Rescue.”
We have many Oh-the-things-she-ate stories about our beloved spotted girl.
Penelope (aka Nelly) also once took a dive from the second to first floor in our previous house. The hallway was like a balcony over the main level. Tom was playing “Where’s that Nelly Nose?” It was a game she thought was hilarious. We’d toss a crocheted blanket over her head, ask where her nose was, then pinch it lightly. Well, Tom was playing the game, and Penelope stumbled into the hallway and stepped right through the hallway railing, falling to the ground on the first floor. Thankfully, there was a pile of large decorative pillow below the opening, so she bounced on those and was totally fine. But, I screamed when I saw her falling.
For her part, Lilly doesn’t get into to too many crazy scrapes being bad. The worst thing she ever did as a pup was nibble a hole in the corner of a decorative pillow that Tom’s sister made from an old Native American blanket. We were sitting on the floor watching TV, and I thought she was chewing on a toy (and she was), but she also nibbled a small hole in the pillow.
She does plenty of things that make us laugh, but they are not “bad” things that she might get in trouble for.
Anyway, amuse me. Please.
Like last time, I’ll pick finalists, then have Tom pick the winner.
I belong to a disc dog club that was putting on a demo. My girl, Ali, did a beautiful leap into the air and caught the disc. The crowed was amazed! Ali turned around, dropped the disc and pooped, with the poop landing right in the disc. I had to run out there into the middle of the ring to pick up the disc full of poop. Ali loves the attention of the crowd so she was running around soaking it all up. I was red faced and embarrassed, to say the least.
Another time I left Ali with friends while I was on vacation. I called the first night to see how she was and they said she was great but they thought she might have a cold. I asked why they thought that and they told me that they left Ali and their dog Toby free in the house while they went to work (Ali was always crated at home) and Ali pulled every single kleenex out of a box and ripped them to shreds. Quite the mess when they got home. And when Ali shreds something, she shreds it until it couldn’t possible be any smaller. She does that with presents, she tears off a piece of wrapping paper, then holds it between her paws and tears off pieces, then shreds those pieces, until it is all smaller than confetti. And she loves doing it, so I let her.
Kristine, Ali & Bosco
Our family dog, Jazz, ate everything. And not just when he was hungry. If he was lying in bed and the phone rang — and if my mother answered it — Jazz would eat the pillow. He would bite off a piece, chew and swallow it, then bite off another piece. He would keep this up until my mother got off the phone. We went through a lot of pillows.
We live WAY out in the country and I think the worst things my dogs do is run around in the country finding deer bodies left by hunters.
One night in particular, the dogs were missing for a long time. When they did show up, I said, “What is that Emma has in her mouth?” It was a deer head.
Sadie, a white pit bull, was covered in blood and looked as if she had been in a fight herself.
They are quite the mess to clean up after they find something like that – but I still prefer it to them being skunked!
Lola ate an entire tub of Musher’s Secret which is essentially solid wax. She provided me with a lovely assortment of not so decorative candles in the yard for 3 days. Unfortunately they were not suitable for holiday gift giving.
My coworker’s Jack Russell Terrier pulled her bra and panties out of her workout bag and ran through the office strewing undergarments all the way down the hallway.
One year we gave Gracie a stuffed reindeer for Christmas. She ignored it for several days. Then–oh, my. Is this a rated-G blog? Because her behavior was at least NC-17! And she went on for an HOUR! Hubby and I turned off the TV, just to watch. At the end of the marathon, she suddenly froze, then, as if in slow motion, tipped onto her side, still clutching the reindeer.
The next day she chewed off the antlers and nose and ripped the stuffing out. Doesn’t get much more Freudian than that.
I wish I had a cool one for you. All of my current pups silliness is “physical” as in the case of pratfalls and other brushes with death. Hard to explain or .. maybe “you had to be there” moments.
My favorite is the first trip to the beach where it was learned that following a flying gull into the waves while ONLY looking UP causes one to get a bath, a BIG bath. The look on his face was priceless… but unfortunately too far away to capture with my camera.
Hope you get some good ones!
RRR
http://nosemovie.livejournal.com