Dog Care: Does Devoted Mean Difficult?

Girls like me definitely fall into the 20-side of the 80/20 Rule. In fact, I’d place myself — and all of you — into the top 2% of dog care consumers. Sometimes, however, this devotion gets interpreted as difficult.

I fear, friends, that I’ve been labeled as such. I worry what the means for Lilly’s recovery.

It’s in my nature to give people the benefit of the doubt. Almost always, I’ll chalk something up to others being busy, a simple miscommunication, or some other innocuous situation with no basis in personal affront.

Yet, even though the feedback that inspired this blog post came with a laugh and a sense of commiseration, I find myself disappointed and a bit hurt with the underlying message from our veterinary team:

• I’m too devoted.
• I’m too vigiliant.
• I’m too observant.
• I’m too worried.

Kid you not, the advice to wait out this latest setback in Lilly’s recovery — from meningoencephalomyelitis / meningoencephalitis (inflammation of the brain and lining of the brain and spinal cord) after an adverse vaccine reaction to a rabies vaccine — came with a joke about perhaps trying to be “more negligent” in my duties as a caretaker and advocate for Lilly’s health.

Trust me, I know that I’m one of “those veterinary clients.” Because of my professional background writing about the medical and business sides of veterinary medicine since the mid-1990s, I completely understand that I know “too much” about what can / does / should happen behind the scenes at a veterinary hospital — especially when it comes to client communication.

Nonetheless, I ACTIVELY try NOT to be a total pain.

Sure, I speak my mind, make follow-up calls, and ask lots of questions, but I really, really, really try to be dutiful and collaborative, not demanding. I temper my expectations based on any number of factors.

For example, typically, when Lilly has a “bad” day, I wait to see a trend over THREE days before I place a single phone call. When she suddenly became entirely incontinent, I placed a call right away because that seemed to me like a dramatic and important change in her health status.

And, yet, I fear that despite my best efforts I’ve now been labeled “difficult” and that this latest health change is seen as no big deal at all.

Simply put, that hurts my feelings. It’s no fun to wonder if our team rolls their eyes when I call.

Have you ever been pegged as difficult? Where do you think the line is between being devoted or demanding?