Bossy is as Bossy Does
Our big-picture trainer (Gigi Moss) often says that dogs with true leadership skill seem completely normal. They don’t seem bossy or dominant (hate that word) or whatever term you use. They just appear like well-adjusted, normal dogs. If a dog does seem otherwise, then he or she is likely concerned about “status.” As Gigi likes to joke — It’s similar to people. All the posturing happens in middle management. In other words, most visible actions comes from a wanna-be, not the one with actual control. Lately, I’ve noticed some funny interactions between Ginko and Lilly that might shed light on things.
(I might be repeating myself from earlier posts, but the differences have really struck me lately.)
Bossy Lilly
When Lilly wants to make a point with Ginko or another dog, she’s quite dramatic and uses her body, her voice, and her face to convey her wishes. Sometimes, I can tell by the shape of her head or the swing of her tail if she’s trying to be funny or if she’s really trying to show the other dog she “means” it.
Ginko’s usual response to such posturing is to heed her warning and move away or merely to turn his head away from her in that benevolent leader, patient annoyance style. Once in a while, he’ll bark in frustration, using what we call “his baby boy voice,” which only amuses Lilly. But, in general, he lets Lilly be Lilly. He takes her demonstrations seriously enough not to push his agenda, but he also appears not truly concerned with her protests.
Now, there are times when he’s had enough (or MORE than enough), and he’ll end the encounter swiftly and with control.
Sometimes, he’ll calmly stuff her whole head in his mouth and hold her still until she settles down.
[I’m sorry the photo for this post got lost in a blog meltdown. I cannot find the original right now.]
Other times, he’ll bark or pin her to the ground for a split second, then it’s over and Lilly goes from bossy to submissive in a flash. Suddenly, she’s all kisses and one raised paw.
Ginko in Control
I’m not sure if the cold is making Ginko ache this winter, but he seems a tad more crabby recently. Maybe at nearly 9 years old, he’s had enough of Lilly’s shenanigans. But, I watch him control her, and his style is very different from hers. It’s nearly invisible.
Whereas, Lilly will guard a toy by carrying it around and growling at him, if he comes close. Ginko will lay the toy nearby and wear an almost non-existent expression. He seriously looks like he’s sitting there and the toy happens to be close by. Yet, somehow, Lilly knows not to push it.
Granted, if she gets too close, he’ll fire off a warning bark, but that’s about it. Recently, though, he’s picked up her skill for a good curled lip and exposed teeth.
What’s funny, however, is that Lilly seems to perceive Ginko’s control moves as an invitation to “play.” I don’t mean all-out romp, but she gets very wiggly and throws several calming signals at him. She smiles. She gets low. She wags like crazy.
Most times she DOES want to play, but Ginko is being a party pooper.
To test this theory, we’ll encourage Lilly to get another toy from the basket since Ginko won’t let her have the one she wants. But, as soon as we begin playing with the new toy, Ginko hops down from his perch on the couch, steals the new toy, and adds it to his protected stash.
So far, his record is stealing 8 toys in a row from Lilly, and just to be clear, she would NEVER contest his right to do so. It’s the same as playing fetch in front of a dog she doesn’t know. If both dogs go for a toy in play, Lilly almost never tries to “win” the game. When it comes to tug, in fact, we have to help her get a good hold of something first, then let Ginko latch on to tug. Otherwise, she’ll never grab the other end of a toy he’s holding in his mouth.
As far as Ginko is concerned, it seems, Lilly can herd him. She can bark at him. She can sass him all she wants. He knows he’s the Canine King of our two-pup pack.
I like to believe that having Ginko as a housemate helps Lilly’s generalized and widespread fears. I’d go as far to say that dogs like Lilly probably shouldn’t be only dogs in a household. I think it’d be too much pressure on the dog. With a canine housemate, Lilly has more than one soul she can defer to … just in case.