Dog Life: Far and Away

Wednesday, August 10, Lilly’s grandma ended up in the emergency room and then the cardiac intensive care unit after another bout with an irregular beat that led to a few bad things. She had open-heart surgery years ago to put in a mechanical heart valve. So, this isn’t our first time at the heart-trouble dance, as they say. These hospital stays mean lots of time away from the house, and I miss my Lilly girl. She misses me too.

The first day, Tom put the dogs to bed before I got home. The second day, they were still asleep when I left. And, so it goes. A couple of days, I got to spend a half day at home, but I had so much to do — catching up on daily life and work-work — that poor Lilly stared at me for a while, then she gave up on me and went to sleep somewhere else in the house.

Lilly pressed her chin on my leg as I worked, adding a certain firmness to the process she waits. And waited. When she gave up on me, as my attention went elsewhere, the absence of her warmth, of that reassurance via pressure, dawned as “cold” on my consciousness.

Cold and empty. And, far … far away … even when close.

It breaks my heart, but time isn’t on my side when these family medical emergencies happen. I can only hope having me in the house, even if my attention is elsewhere, is enough for her. I know it isn’t for me. Not by a long shot.

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So, if I seem less in touch and “around” online for a while, that’s why. I’m offsite dealing with these and other family matters … while doing my best to work from the hospital too.