Curses Upon Their Cheesy Heads

Cheese plays a tremendous role here at Champion of My Heart. I hide pills in cheese for easier medication dispensing. I use cheese as training food. We’re a cheese eating bunch. So, my head just might explode thanks to new industrial packaging on Frigo String Cheese because it’s impossible to open. If you’ve ever unzipped a stick of string cheese, you know that happy sound. This new stuff, I swear, was designed to survive a nuclear attack.

I buy big bags of the stuff at Costco. And, so far, in this new bag, each stick is hermetically sealed in industrial-grade plastic.

Maybe I just got an odd batch, but I’m pretty sure something has changed. I used to practically unzip each stick with one hand. Now, I need scissors, a knife, sometimes a blow-torch to free the cheese from bondage.

There’s a tear off tab above the part that’s supposed to peel down. Except the tab doesn’t tear cleanly and the peely part doesn’t show nary a gap to begin the pulling process. Imagine the disruption in elementary school lunchrooms across the country? Chaos, I tell you. Chaos.

I’ve given up trying. Now, I just hack away at the plastic and store any extra in a Ziplock.

I can only guess that the packaging change comes in response to regular consumer complaints. Clearly, those people have never tried to unzip string cheese with a high-energy dog (or 2) waiting on the outcome.