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Skateboards, styrofoam and PMS don’t mix

After an hour or so of public training at the last farmer’s market of the season, Lilly and I dropped by our fav restaurant for a little lunch. The perfect ending to a very nice day. And, then some rotten man (yes, man … not kid) on a skateboard ruined it. This is a tale of how skateboards, styrofoam and PMS don’t mix.

We’d just settled at an outdoor table with our hummus and lemonade. We always take the table closest to the parking lot so that we don’t intrude on others. I’d taken maybe 2 bites, when I heard a crowd of people approaching. They’d just piled out of a car behind us. Ratty jeans, black t-shirts, jet-black hair pointing in all directions and more piercings than I could even process. Noisy and a little funny looking, but no problem. Just a crowd of college-age pals out for coffee. (Lilly and I may have been ready for lunch, but this group clearly had just woken up.)

Lilly was totally fine. I handed her a piece of pita with hummus on it.

And, then I heard it. One of men dropped a skateboard on the ground and proceeded to bang, bang, bang, bang the front of it, back and forth, as he rolled toward the door. I’m not kidding. This dude could not simply walk from his car to the door of the nearby coffee shop. We’re talking maybe 30 feet.

Lilly panicked.

I did my best to re-connect with her, but I had no luck. Lilly needed to leave … and NOW!

So, I boxed up my lunch. (I’d gotten it as take-out anyway.) And, we left with snide looks from the crowd. My guess is that they were thinking, “Look at the stupid dog who’s afraid of a skateboard.”

It’s fine, really.

Because I was thinking, “Hey, @$$-hole! What? Are you too lazy to walk from your car to the door?”

Smart girl that I am, I kept my mouth shut and just left. So, we drove to a nearby park to finish our lunch in peace.

Just as I unloaded Lilly from her crate, however, an ambulance roared by, sirens blaring. Because of her time at the firehouse with Tom, Lilly knows sirens, but this one caught her off-guard, and she bolted. Thankfully, she was leashed, so she did not go far.

But …

I had my lemonade in the same hand as the leash. When she shot away, I instinctively tighted my grip on her and poked a HUGE hole in my styrofoam cup. So, now I had sticky lemonade up to my elbow, and a anxiety-soaked dog who’d just had 2 big scares in about 10 minutes.

Plus, darn it, I was thirsty. Can’t a girl just have a nice lunch with her dog anymore?

Lilly and I dripped our way to an empty picnic table in the shade. I managed to salvage about half the drink by tipping my cup to the side without the big thumb hole. It still leaked, but at least I got some.

Then, the bees came.

They could not resist the lemonade, pooling under my cup.

Now, I wouldn’t say I’m truly phobic about bees, but they make me nervous, which is the last thing I need when Lilly was already on edge.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry (remember … hormones). I wanted to cause bodily harm to that jerk on the skateboard.

But, I didn’t. I just started to laugh.

Roxanne Hawn

Trained as a traditional journalist and based in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, USA, I'm a full-time freelance writer for magazines, websites, and private clients. My areas of specialty include everything in the lifestyles arena, including health and home, personal finance and other consumer interests, relationships and trends, people and business profiles ... and, of course, all things pet related. I don't just love dogs. I need them in my life. Seriously.

Alisa Bowman - December 9, 2009

Thanks for pointing me to this post! I was hiking with my dog the other day–out in the woods in a fresh snow. It was beautiful. I had my coffee with me and the dog was on leash–because I felt like being responsible that way. Well, don’t you know, the snow had weighed down the bushes so they were hanging over the trail. I had to squat down to fit under them. At one point, as I was in this precarious squatting position and quite off balance, the dog got onto a good smell and darted in an odd direction, jerking me off balance and spilling my hot coffee all over my hand and down my arm.

So relaxing.

Rox - October 24, 2007

I’ve certainly thought about it. We have very little sidewalk around here, but we could try it in the unfinished basement. If we succeed, I’ll post video. But, I’m not sure she’d make the connection between her riding and the noise when someone else does. It’s like the teeter, in a way. Mostly, she’s fine if she makes a big scary noise, but if someone else does … then watch out. 

Cedarfield - October 24, 2007

Have you ever tried to train Lilly to ride a skateboard? It’s been suggested to me that I try to train my PRT to ride one as a way to help him be more comfortable with movement.

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