Just a week. That’s all I had to survive between learning Lilly’s lump needed to come out and finding out it was nothing scary. I tried not to worry too much, but clearly I did. My body, in revolt, said, “Oh, @#$@ no!”
Upon hearing the news that Lilly was fine, the lump was nothing dangerous to her future health, I cried … a lot. In fact, I’m pretty sure I cried nearly as much as if it’d been bad news.
Honestly, if it had been bad news, I likely would have flown into realistic, do-something mode and not let myself blither too much.
But, in relief, waves of gratitude flooded right out.
I cried until I could feel every speck of my eyes. The backsides of them to be exact. I could feel the orbs aching inside my head. With pressure building and building, I ended up with an almost-migraine-like headache for the rest of the night.
I had a glass of red wine anyway, if you’re wondering.
We let Lilly sleep with us that night to celebrate, then Saturday … I said to the world:
- Forget you
- Forget what needs to be done
- Forget what I should do
- Forget everything
And, we did what Lilly wanted to do. Since post-op rules nixed any plans for play or hikes or outings, we did what Lilly loves best.
We sat on her hill, the one atop our middle pasture, where she can see the entire valley.
That’s it. We sat there … together. We watched the clouds and the planes fly overhead. We watched neighbors preparing for winter:
- Chopping wood
- Cutting pastures
- Hauling hay
- Moving livestock from one place to another
Once and awhile, she napped. Most of the time, I managed not to think … just to be.
A remarkable day we had. My Lilly and me.
And, when the sun went behind the mountain to our west (about 5 pm, these days), we came inside.
I’d like to say that’s all I needed, but the old bod had other ideas. Sleep and lots of it called like the force of gravity.
I slept 12 straight hours that night.
Lilly, of course, isn’t my only worry, and my respite the day of the good news and that whole last weekend was short-lived. But, we shared what we could in that fleeting space. Just a couple of girls sitting on a hill.
What a beautiful post. A perfect way to celebrate the great news. Dogs certainly seem to be the model of mindfulness – they’re always in the moment, unlike the rest of us.
Were glad all is well and Lillys ok.
Dogs have the right idea about living. Letting the world go by can be the best therapy in the world! Best wishes to Miss Lilly for a speedy recovery!
I am so happy for you and Lilly and just as happy you had a day together to just…be. I think it’s also good you got some much needed rest!
This is lovely, Roxanne. I especially like the image of you and Lilly surveying life from her hill. It sounds like you both got some needed relaxation.
Beautiful. I’m so happy for all of you! These health scares remind us of how fragile we are, and how important it is to just forget the world now and then and enjoy each others company. Being 100% present is a special gift – something I imagine you and Lilly both needed after caring for your mom recently. I hope you have many, many more of these while Lilly is with you.
Hi Roxanne:
I’m so happy for you and Lilly. I wish my news was as good as yours. My dobie “Jenna” had a tumor removed from her ear last week. I had to wait for the biopsy this week and it was cancerous. This kind almost always comes back.
I’m broken hearted and not quite ready to go through this again.
Your article brought me to tears but also made stop for a minute and put some things into perspective.
Go Lilly, I’m so very happy for you and your mom.
Janie
I TOTALLY get it, Roxanne. I am SO happy she is well!
I’m so happy for you. What a beautiful way to celebrate the news. We should all do that a little more often.
Hi Y’all,
We all need to stop and smell the roses. Life is too short and moments fleeting. In the end all we have are memories of moments in time. Hold them close.
Y’all come by now,
Hawk aka BrownDog
I hear you! I cry with you every time. Very close to home to me. Life is short. Screw the world.
I’m so glad she’s ok. And I love the idea of a Forget the World day. We should all have such a day every single week.
I am so happy for you, Roxanne. You and Lilly got a well-deserved break.
I’m SO glad Lilly is okay. What a scare for you!
Ah, those are good days…Days when you can just ‘be’ and enjoy the company of those you love 🙂 So, so happy for your good news!
Lucky Lilly! Lucky people who love her, too. So happy for everyone concerned.
Hurray! So glad Lilly is all right. As I was reading the beginning, in my head I was hoping you two had spent the day outside to celebrate. Loved the way you phrased it: “doing what Lilly loves best.” Not a bad way to spend a day for you either. Glad it allowed you to slow down and calm your mind.
I was so glad when I read it was benign. And I’m glad you took a day to celebrate with her.
And I teared up just reading this. Thanks you for a beautiful post–and for caring so much for Lilly. I’m THRILLED that she has no cancer. Just thrilled.