I bond. I bond with people, pets, places … you name it. It’s a loyalty and monogamy, if you want to use that word, rooted deeply in who I am. I know this about myself, and I understand how it plays out in my life.
… both for the good and not so good.
I got to thinking about the attachments we make with our dogs and in other areas of our lives after Tom considered getting a different truck over the weekend.
We tried to reconstruct the litany of cars he has owned over the years, and we found a few gaps in our collective memory. I do recall, however, telling friends, “Better a new car, than a new wife,” when he drove a red sports car years ago.
(For the record, my midlife-crisis car is a Mini Cooper — silver, with a sun roof.)
As we made our way home after a test drive, Tom said, “Some day, I want to have a car painted that yellow.” (referring to the truck we’d just driven)
Interesting, don’t you think?
I often tell people that I’d like to have a doberman or a German shepherd some day, and Tom’s pronouncement struck me as being in the same vein.
In human relationships, we say people with many passing romantic interests have “commitment issues” or are “afraid of commitment.” That might result in eternal dating. It might mean marital infidelity. It could be a simple lack of real attachment to those in our lives.
Others pass through these emotions via clothes or cars or gadgets.
I get that. We’re all chasing something.
But, I wonder … for those of us who volunteer (or have volunteered) in the dog world, is our contiguous attachment to shelter pets or foster pets a version of emotionally shopping around? The best of ALL worlds … at the same time? Having our cake and eating it too?
Or are our hearts simply too big, too open … too much in need?
Blame it on all the illness and death in those around me for 2+ years now, but I’ve started wondering how many dogs remain in my “lifetime,” especially since one at a time (one for me and one for Tom, 2 total) is my emotional and financial limit.
I really wish we could foster … if not for the behavior challenges Lilly and Ginko bring to our home … if not for the ongoing demands outside my blog life.
Now, that I’ve lived with and love a border collie, I cannot imagine another breed as my primary sidekick. Yet, I’m still the girl who would like to give a Dobe for a shepherd a spin.
So, if it never happens due to whatever life circumstances ahead, let’s all pretend that there was a time when Tom drove a yellow car, and I had a Doberman or a German shepherd at my side.
What’s on your breed wish list? Estimate the likelihood of it coming true?
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Lilly and I continue in our pursuit of a book deal because living with a fearful dog isn’t just about dogs … it’s about real life. We would appreciate your help. Please nominate Champion of My Heart as Best Dog Blog.
I wasn’t going to post as I had just stumbled upon your blog and this is a rather old post. Then I finished reading it and saw your dog ‘wish list’ and decided I would since I currently have a wonderful dobe girl who I love more than anything. I truly could not imagine a better dog (not because she’s flawless…simply because she’s her, flaws and all). I adore the breed, the Doberman would be, without a doubt, my breed of choice. I can’t say that I will always have a Doberman…I don’t know if I’d have the heart to get another one after her…but they will always be my favorite.
I grew up with Shelties and have always had a soft spot for them – but I know I will not have another. Had Maremma Sheepdogs for 20 years – still love them but our life is not now the best for them – so am coming to terms with the possibility that I may never have another. When I think ahead to possible futures I think of more Smooth Collies, wiry Lurchers, Whippets, Welsh Springers, long-haired GSDs, mini Poodles, Schipperkes, depending on my mood. But I think in fact it will be whatever happens along when the time comes. After all, I never imagined for a moment (being a lover of huge, white, hairy dogs) that my heart would be completely captured by a small, black, pointy one with a coat like smooth velvet…
I have had Poodles, Shelties and finally a Border Collie. I wish I had been in a position to have always had Border Collies. They are the BEST! The perfect dog for devoted (to the dog) active people. Although I love all, I have no desire to have any other breed. People used to say “you went to the dark side”: Actually “I saw the light”.
On the feline side, since having Ed the Devon Rex, I can’t imagine NOT having a Devon Rex. So much darned personality that even people who are sworn dog ONLY folks adore him. Of course, he does fetch…
You have a point there. No dogs here, because my husband is allergic, but I’m routing for a book deal.
We have a long history with Rottweilers. It started with Roxy’s story and Jasmine further deepened the bond we have with the breed. We love Rottweilers.
Would we have a dog of another breed? Certainly, I’ve met dogs I could see myself bond with. I think it would be more about individual personality than the breed.
As much as I’d love to become a foster mom, my attachment complex is too strong. I’d never be able to cope with the constant emotional rollercoaster of pets coming and going. I’d want to keep all of them permanently.
I always saw myself as a “mutt” person. But I had a preference for shepherd mixes.
I always thought I would have shelter dogs. Some of it was because they needed good homes. And i didn’t see what difference being pure bred made (especially if the breeders wasn’t serious and responsible).
But I think it was also because I needed to be needed. I liked the image of myself as someone who took care of creatures other people didn’t want. And of being the kind of person who did hard things.
Since I decided to get an easy, pure bred dog, I don’t know what to think any more. Now I wonder if I should have shelter mutts because I’m wasting the potential of my smart, gentle Golden Retriever. Maybe she’d be better with someone who had the skills and time to extract every bit of potential she has in her.
Ok, now I’ve nearly written a blog post.
But this was very thought provoking, Roxanne. I think you’ve raised some questions in your post that I will come back to.
I think I’d like to have a greyhound some day. They’re so graceful – I think I could watch them run all day long.
What an interesting question. I always thought I was attached to the “shelter mutt.” However, I’m totally and completely devoted to bully breeds. Now I feel like the dogs in my life will always be bully breeds probably because of my attachment and probably because I feel a responsibility to those dogs because of that attachment (if that makes any sense at all…). Hmm. Also, I totally agree with you re: fostering. We’re 0 for 1! 🙂 I signed us up to be a puppy house for a pit bull rescue. The first puppy we got, we adopted. Sigh. We are now on the “in an emergency only” list of foster homes because I don’t know how not to get attached to a cute little pup!
First breeds I have had either as my own pet or foster: St. Bernard (my parents’ original breed), Mastiff, Border Terrier, Labrador Retriever, Newfoundland, Greater Swiss Mountain Dog, Beagle, Belgian Malinois, Australian Cattle Dog, Jack Russell Terrier.
Whew, that is a long list! I know that I will always have a malinois. That is my heart dog. I dig the heelers because they are so wicked smart but they are also just wicked so I may never have another after Jellybean.
Someday I would love to live with: Irish Wolfhounds and Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and maybe another newf 🙂
Oddly, I have never wanted a Border Collie and I will NEVER have another Border Terrier!
Hmm. Regarding your question about attachment to shelter pets “having our cake and eating it too:” Possibly. Although I think it has more to do with our hearts (unless, of course, it comes to hoarding). I don’t think of my next dog in terms of breed. My rescues have all found me, so we take whatever dog wanders (literally) into our lives. However, I will forever always have a Doxie. Our mini Dox, Hershey, was our first rescue and I’m pretty partial to their demands. 🙂