Lately, I wish I had one of those charging mats. You know, those things that you just lay your electronics upon and like magic they get charged back up. Maybe I could retool a scat mat. Well, that is, if I had the skill.
I am tired.
No bones about it. Deep-down, full body + spirit, @#$@#$ exhausted.
I tried to tally my stress scorecard and the brutal (bordering on unimaginable) reality across my circle of family and friends, including the dogs, is sobering no matter how rosy your normal outlook:
- 3 deaths
- 2 (active) terminal diagnoses
- 3 potentially deadly injuries and/or illnesses
- 10 or so medical emergencies
- 4 ongoing medical worries
- 2 eldercare situations
- 0 (virtually) days off or real weekends
- Countless interruptions every day
And, all this while we continuing working (more than) full-time to keep our financial boat afloat.
Tom and I laugh a lot lately when others assume that one good night’s sleep, one afternoon “off,” or one hunk of good news means things are all better or looking up.
Maybe they think more positively than we do. Maybe they’re tired of hearing our woes.
But, we tell ourselves.
- This cannot last forever.
- Things will get better.
- We’re holding up remarkably well.
- At least we have each other.
And, still … sometimes all the walks, the exercise, the knitting, the reading, the breathing, the hot-tub soaking only makes a dent in the stress-pool, cesspool in which we find ourselves.
So, the other night when both Lilly and Ginko hopped into bed with me, while Tom stayed up VERY late working, I tucked one hand under Lilly and one foot under Ginko (mostly for warmth) … and I realized.
This is my dog recharging station.
I might not be a plug-and-play unit. I may not have 4G in me, but I do have these guys.
And, maybe none of the rest of it matters.
Words of wisdom or spare mojo appreciated
Thank the universe for those sweet dogs who can climb into bed and help you recharge. I am sorry you have so much to be dealing with right now. And I am so glad you have them to help you deal!
AMEN Sister!!!!!!
Oh….there is just too too much on your plate. Just so darned unfair. I know that our dogs do give us a charge like nothing else can. My dog was there for everything, always there to cuddle up to, to gaze at. I’m glad you have that, at least. It’s true that nothing (good or bad) can last forever, but I hope you are out of this really difficult stage as soon as possible.
Roxanne – I had forgotten all that you have been through in the past year. Whew! That’s a lot. We should be thinking ourselves lucky that you continue to write and share your experiences so we can all connect with one another.
I have my days too, and yes, I tell myself that things will get better as well. It’s hard sometimes and it definitely can be physically exhausting to deal with all that life throws us every day. I love your analogy of your dogs being your rechargers. I think a lot of us feel that way. I know I do. Whenever I am feeling down, discouraged, depressed or worried, I turn to my dogs.
What a terrific post. I do consider the dogs to be my recharging station too (though I had never thought of that exact phrase). Just hanging out with them makes everything else seem ok.
I need a dog recharging station, too. There is something about their warm stinky bodies that makes all troubles go away, isn’t there? I might go recharge right now…
What a lovely, moving post, Roxanne. I think your excellent writing also recharges you — and helps others. Thinking of you as you go through all of this.
Good analogy. Dogs do make good rechargers. I remember those days when I had to stop at my Mom’s 3 times a day to treat and rebandage her leg, plus sometimes stay with her on weekends, while trying not to get fired from my job. Thank goodness for an understanding boss but I still thought I was going to go insane. I’m glad you and Tom can support and commiserate through this. I wish I had bigger words of wisdom and hope. I suppose someone has already suggested chocolate…
What would we do without our dogs, eh? I ask myself that frequently. Even thought they can’t actually fix any of our problems or make anything go away, just their presence helps lift the burden for a brief while. Like you say, they help re-charge us, help us to bear it all again the next day.
I have no wisdom, and I’m not creative enough to figure out how to ship a mojito, but I’m pulling for you. And this glass of Malbec will be drunk in your honour.
Be good to yourself.
Great post. My beloved beagle Gabriel definitely recharges me!
Roxanne,
so glad for the positive things — human and canine — in your life, and that you have the wisdom to remember and take comfort in them. sending good thoughts.
You have two great pups (Lilly and Ginko) to get you charged and ready to go each day! What other characters or situations in your life do you have that make you smile and appreciate them?
I get to wake Stephanie up at 3 in the morning to annoy her, but she likes it all the same, dook!
I’m so sorry that life is so miserable for you right now. Thank goodness for dogs, huh? There’s nothing quite like the comfort of petting your dog and knowing that he just loves you. No matter what. Hugs to you!
Keep repeating the positive things over and over. You need to hear them now; you have so, so much to deal with. I don’t know if I’d hold up as well as you seem to be!
I love the idea of a doggie recharging station – and Ginko and Lilly are the perfect source. It’s amazing how dogs have the ability to provide real, uncomplicated comfort.
I too use the dog recharging station. And while I realize that it is just a moment in time that is very pleasant and all that other stuff is still out there, if I try to be really present in the moment it gives me the boost to keep going. It’s certainly better that nothing. It is all about picking yourself up over and over again and this is exactly the juice for that.
Awww, Roxanne! No one should have to deal with the amount of stress you’re under. 🙁 No words of wisdom to impart, but I’m glad you have Lilly and Ginko to help stay sane.
So true. Although this Charles Bukowski poem is about cats, I think you’ll totally identify with the sentiment:
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2010/11/09
Thank goodness for our dogs! Not only are they a source of strength, they make us laugh, and remind us to enjoy each moment.
I agree with you that one afternoon off or one bath can’t cure it all, but I think you should take what you can get and allow yourself to get lost in those moments when they do happen, if at all possible. And dog comfort is included in that! I too find great comfort in my canine family members who have no words of wisdom, but are always warm and ready to accept hugs from me. I think you are getting through all of this with admirable strength. And, yes, it IS going to get better and you ARE going to make it through. You’re pretty darn amazing.
Our dogs have a wonderful way of doing that, Roxanne! Keep your chin up. I think your friends are just thrilled for you anytime you have a bit of good news. It’s been such a trying time for you. But you’re right, it doesn’t last forever, not in these numbers.
Oh, Roxanne. Hang in there! I was going to say be sure to take care of yourself, but it sounds like Lilly and Ginko have you covered!