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October 27, 2010

One of the things I love so much about positive reinforcement dog training, and clicker training specifically, is how dogs learn to love learning and how brave they become in trying something … anything … new in hopes of finding success. Imagine your life, if you could find that same spirit.

Last Wednesday, I attended a book signing for Sue Petrovski’s newest book called Wild Apples: Reflections on a Thoughtful Life. Sue is the mother of a longtime friend and mentor.

The Bookery Nook, a dog-friendly and independent bookstore in Northwest Denver, hosted the event. (Alas, their dog book section was TINY. Like 5 books. When I asked, they said they just don’t sell, so they often send back copies ordered. That’s discouraging!)

Sue’s book offers short essays, poems, and quotations about life lessons, organized month by month … in a way that mirrors the journey we undertake from childhood forward.

One thing Sue said that night stuck with me:

Failure is only the elimination of an alternative.

After reflecting on this idea for a few days, it hit me. Considering, attempting, and possibly failing at anything we try in life is just like clicker training.

Just as our dogs “throw behaviors at us” hoping they’ll stick … we need to cultivate that attitude in ourselves.

  • Trying matters.
  • Creativity in looking at any and all options matters.
  • Courage matters.

The regular world might still call it “failure” when things don’t turn out as we’d like, but through our prism of dogdom, there is only an alternative eliminated.

So when you’re feeling beleaguered, do what I do for Lilly … smile and say to yourself (or others), “Try again.”

About the Author Roxanne Hawn

Trained as a traditional journalist and based in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, USA, I'm a full-time freelance writer for magazines, websites, and private clients. My areas of specialty include everything in the lifestyles arena, including health and home, personal finance and other consumer interests, relationships and trends, people and business profiles ... and, of course, all things pet related.

I don't just love dogs. I need them in my life. Seriously.

  1. This is such a well timed post. What’s that old quote – if you’re failing, at least you’re trying? So you’re better off than those who sit on their duff and don’t even make the effort.

    Still, though, it’s so hard sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I’m ducking against a deluge of sticks and rocks coming at light speed.

  2. Awesome wisdom from the Dogdom, and a great way of looking at “failure” in a different – better – way. I need to print this out and look at it every day.

  3. I love “matters” at the end of any phrase. You matter. It matters. Being alive matters. It just makes it beautiful and perfect and wonderful. Great post!

  4. Thank you for this. I love thinking of failure as just the elimination of one option and not as a global commentary on how we are worthless or unworthy.

    But it’s this quote from you that really inspires me:

    So when you’re feeling beleaguered, do what I do for Lilly … smile and say to yourself (or others), “Try again.”

    I need to frame that and put it on my office wall!

  5. I so love the failure quote. It’s so wise and reminds us to keep on persevering. Thanks – I’ll remember it and use it when I need it!

  6. I’ve heard of dog-friendly restaurants and hotels, but I’ve never heard of a dog-friendly book store. How cool! I’m surprised to hear that the dog books weren’t selling, because it seems like dog owners are pretty die-hard! I mean, here in Boston we have a doggy boutique (called a Paw-tique), doggy spas, and other places geared specifically to our four-legged friends.

  7. This really cheered me for a variety of reasons, one somewhat perverse: The fact that the bookstore said they returned dog books because they don’t sell made me feel that my lack of sales success isn’t personal. But of course the intended takeaway message about trying different strategies until one hits, and not thinking in terms of failure but, rather, process of elimination will be more useful in the long run… if only I can remember it!

  8. Great post, and another valuable lesson we can learn from our dogs. You’re so right – they throw behaviors at us just hoping to get the right one, uninhibited, with no fear of “sitting” when we’ve asked for “stand.” And, for them producing the “wrong” behavior involves no embarrassment. If we let our fear of failure or our embarrassment over a mistake stop us from trying (or trying again) we’ll never get to experience that moment of pure joy when the right choice results in the reward.

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