My family had several dogs when I was growing up, but the first dog I chose, raised, and cared for on my own was a Dalmatian named Penelope Grace. She was a handful, but when you’re 22 years old, that doesn’t seem like a biggie. Yet, early on, I established all kinds of rules because I was a grown-up.
Looking back, my rigidity and my rules and my relatively cluelessness amuses me. Early on, Penelope wasn’t allowed in the living room. She wasn’t allowed on the furniture. She wasn’t allowed loose in the house alone until she was about 7 years old. Her life was a long series of Don’ts.
Clearly, I changed my mind sometime between Easter 1990 when Penelope came home and 1996 when this photo was taken on a bed. The living room rule held until we moved into our current house in 2001, where the great-room-like layout made keeping her out impractical, if not impossible. Plus, the whole main level of this house is tile, so dog dirt isn’t as big of a deal.
You might think I kept Penelope in march step thanks to her “strict” upbringing. You, however, would be wrong.
Other than the fact that she wasn’t afraid of anything (which as longtime readers know is VERY different from my experience with Lilly), Penelope never really did anything I asked. It’s totally my fault, of course. I knew NOTHING about dog training back then, even though I took the usual 8-week classes available in our suburban community.
Penelope pretty much dragged me through life, doing what she wanted, when she wanted. She could also be very sweet. And, as she aged, she wasn’t really any trouble in the house per se, but she was never “easy” by any stretch.
If you only look at me based on our house dog rules, you’d think I was a total pushover these days. Lilly and Ginko are allowed pretty much everywhere in the house, including on the furniture. Lilly, at least, is allowed to jump up on me … heck, she is even trained to do so.
And, yet, my two current dogs are better behaved, more trustworthy in general, and all around easier to share life with than Penelope ever was, despite my “rules.”
Sometimes, I remember the wrist, elbow, shoulder, and back pain Penelope caused from poor leash manners. Other times, I just enjoy the fact that I can rarely even feel Lilly on the end of her leash because she is right by my side, smiling.
I’m glad I had the opportunity to learn more about the real lives of dogs, their real needs, their real abilities. Many thanks to my friends and colleagues who continue to teach me things and explore new ideas about what being a 21st-century dog mom is.
My life is better. Day-to-day household management is easier, but more importantly, my dogs’ lives are better and happier because I learned how to be a partner … and not just a girl with a long list of silly rules.
We rescued a Chiwenie (Thor) puppy and got him a cage same day. We have had lots of dogs in our 57 years of marriage but never before a cage. I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to hold it all night because he is so tiny. He does very well; We give him a last outing at 8:30 or 9:00 then he runs, head up, through the house right to his bed (cage). We are so proud and he seems to be pretty proud of himself.
I’ve found the same to be true with my dogs, Roxanne.
I think I had the opposite problem when we first got Marge. To some degree, I had the “feel bad for the rescue dog and let them do everything they want” syndrome. The best example of this was when I backed out of buying her a crate, because I felt bad to have her sleep in one. Luckily, she is not a chewer, she is housebroken, and none of those kinds of things every really got her in trouble. Now, of course, we are doing some crate training, but it would have been easier if I started from the beginning and then eased up on the rules, at least in that respect.
There are some things I never really established rules for, though, and I’m happy I did.. I don’t mind when she jumps on me, for example, and I don’t require her to walk with a perfectly loose leash. It’s just what works for us.
I feel like I had many more rules with Kona when she was a puppy. I think I had the idea that if I didn’t lay down the law of the land when she was tiny, I’d be doomed. It took me way to long to realize that my dog really needed to have fun and learn to trust me. Now, my favorite part of the day is coming home and having Kona clobber me.