Champion of My HeartA real-time memoir about life with a fearful border collie, by Roxanne Hawn

Friday, Lilly had a rough day for no particular reason I could find. But, when it came time for her to load up for her third (and we hoped final) spider bite recheck, she threw herself to the ground and had a full-on anxiety attack.

Tom told Lilly earlier in the afternoon that she needed to see the V-E-T, so I pretty much blame him. I can say that because he doesn’t read the blog.

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Think Lilly is out of the woods on this crazy spider bite? Alas, think again. Monday, Tom helped me take BOTH dogs to the veterinary hospital. Ginko for his wellness exam. Lilly for her recheck #2. The saga is still NOT over.

Seriously.

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Tuesday morning we awoke to a debate between me and Tom over the size of Lilly’s spider bite lump. I said it was bigger, maybe 10%. Tom said it was the same as the night before. Possible surgery hung in the balance. Terrified to make the wrong decision, I waited and waited.

I groped her neck. I took pictures and flipped between the images for nearly an hour, trying to decide what to do.

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So, we now knew that Lilly suffered a spider bite and ensuing infection. But, we’ll never know what kind of spider or where or how it happened, but she needed treatment and fast.

Again, if you are sensitive at all, fair warning … what unfolds next isn’t particularly gross, but it is upsetting if you understand the potential outcomes of a fearful dog going through something both painful and scary.

You can catch up via Dog Spider Bite Part 1, Dog Spider Bite Part 2, and Dog Spider Bite Part 3 of our latest veterinary emergency saga.

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Yesterday, we continued the story of this mysterious mass I found on Lilly’s neck while awaiting a routine veterinary exam. Today, let’s move on with the diagnosis of the sudden onset (possible) veterinary emergency.

Fair warning … if you are squeamish at all.

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Not the best day. Monday. About mid-morning, I locked myself in a small, dark room and fought off an anxiety attack. I had to. With a feature article deadline looming and several more in the wings, my day, my week, boasted no room for a breakdown. So, when Lilly seemed not herself Monday afternoon, I assumed she mirrored my mood.

I was wrong.

But, I didn’t know I was wrong for several more hours. Instead, I gave Lilly an as-needed xanax. Remember, she no longer gets it in addition to antidepressants twice a day every day for her fears / anxiety.

I figured with her annual wellness exam later that day … better safe than sorry.

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Thanks for putting up with my NYC report. As a girl who often only sees other people or leaves the mountain once a week, the trip was a big deal to me. And, to our canine heroine too. Here is how Lilly coped.

In the last year or so, I’ve taken five work-related trips. None were as long as this one. Three nights, four days … and Lilly, our sensitive girl, noticed.

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Despite having ZERO time to read for pleasure lately, I’m making my way through a sheepdog book that our herding trainer recommended. It’s called Talking Sheepdogs: Training Your Working Border Collie (by Derek Scrimgeour).

While the book primarily deals with training a working / herding dog from puppyhood, I figure its good to know things from the ground up.

I still have a lot more reading to do (even though it’s a short book, just 128 pages, with lots of illustrations and diagrams), but here are two things I wanted to share.

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As part of our dog product review of the KONG Braidz Monkey, I asked for interpretations of Lilly’s body position in one of the photos. The answer appeared later in the week in Wordless Wednesday: Third Time is a Charm.

What indeed looks like an appeasement gesture (lifting one paw) is a precursor to Lilly gearing up to be her bossy, border collie self. She often throws calming signals BEFORE and AFTER being a complete snot to an ever-patient (or ever-oblivious) Ginko.

Observe.

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Many thanks to Kevin Meyers for writing an open letter to Good Morning America, called Dogs Don’t Do Guilt, after the show featured the “guilty dog” from the viral video, perpetuated dog behavior myths, and glossed over what is really happening in the video.

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I sometimes wonder if I’d ever deliberately adopt a truly fearful dog again. Truth? I didn’t know what I was getting myself into with Lilly. Still, I cannot imagine missing out on all the amazing things she taught me about not just dogs and dog training / dog learning theory but also about life and love, relationships, and finding (perhaps) my true calling.

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We’ve long established that Lilly, our canine heroine, responds to every shift around her. That’s true at home. It’s true when we’re out in public. It’s true in the various dog training classes we take. Yet, Lilly responds to different emotions in different ways. She finds sadness much less “scary” than frustration or anger or generalized grumpiness.

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Last Saturday, while out running errands with Lilly at my side (… well, with Lilly behind me in her crate …), we stopped at our veterinary hospital to do some counter-conditioning work after her total meltdown on our last visit. I’m going to try and make as many stops as we can over the coming weeks so that maybe her next veterinary appointment goes better.

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Congratulations to Petfinder on CHANGING the pet adoption world forever 15 years ago. Truly. Both via online access and the popular app, people use Petfinder a LOT to search for adoptable pets. It was a terrific idea, then. It’s a terrific idea now. In celebration, here is our Adopt the Internet Day post.

Adopt. Don’t Buy … I’m Begging

While attending a local non-dog event recently, I realized just how much education is still required about the horrors of puppy mills and the pet store puppy sales that support them.

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Lilly has been off the xanax for a month now. While at first report, she showed no ill effects, drug withdrawal, or behavior problems. Things may have changed … and NOT for the better. Lilly had a rough few days last week.

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