Champion of My HeartA real-time memoir about life with a fearful border collie, by Roxanne Hawn

I could use some help establishing expectations about Lilly’s ongoing struggle with anxiety. Living with a fearful dog can be a day-to-day, minute-by-minute thing, and I’m used to that. However, I’m trying to get a grip on what I can and cannot expect going forward as well as what shifts in dog behavior matter at this point.

Come May, Lilly will be 8 years old. That means we’re 7 1/2 years into her fearful dog reality as a member of our family and a good 5 years since we saw a major shift in her fearful behavior as she reached social maturity (around age 2 – 2 1/2).

In summer 2008, 8ur dog behavior modification work (combined with dog anxiety medications) got underway in earnest (after a couple of years of trying herbal and other scent-based remedies). This includes the Dog Relaxation Protocol MP3 files for which we are now famous for recording and providing FREE downloads.

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To balance the posts lately about Lilly being less than great to Ginko, here is a dog video showing how much the dogs really do love each other. Our holiday message for 2011? Nibble on the ones you love. Ho ho ho!

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Earlier, I shared some new dog behaviors that cropped up after we dropped Lilly’s evening dose of chlomipramine. Others of more concern began to worsen as the levels of meds in her system dropped for real after 6 weeks on a lower dose. So … we’ve decided …

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For about 6 weeks now, Lilly’s chlomipramine dose has been just 75 mg ONCE a day (in the morning). We’ve dropped the nighttime dose. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but some new behaviors have cropped up. Now, I’m having doubts about the dog behavior meds decision.

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It started out as a necessity. Swamped with deadlines and a work trip on the docket, I didn’t realize Lilly was getting low on her medicine. To stretch it a bit longer, I skipped her evening dose of clomipramine (antidepressant that targets her generalized fears) for a few days. I kept it up, however, even after her prescription refill arrived.

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I’ve been lucky enough to interview Dr. Sophia Yin several times for dog behavior and dog training articles. If you’re looking for detailed, science-based information on dog training and dog behavior, her site is a great place to look … especially if your dog interacts with kids at all … and you want to prevent accidental dog bites.

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My absence and recent spike in stress wreaks havoc on Lilly. It’s a terrible feeling to know my actions and emotions impact her well-being. Lilly is hiding … a lot. Read the rest of this entry »

After nearly 7 years, it still makes me sad to see Lilly slink off to “hide” when she is upset or afraid or nervous. The other day, I found her wedged behind the toilet in the master bathroom. I joined her, and this is what I found.

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Friday, Lilly had a rough day for no particular reason I could find. But, when it came time for her to load up for her third (and we hoped final) spider bite recheck, she threw herself to the ground and had a full-on anxiety attack.

Tom told Lilly earlier in the afternoon that she needed to see the V-E-T, so I pretty much blame him. I can say that because he doesn’t read the blog.

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Think Lilly is out of the woods on this crazy spider bite? Alas, think again. Monday, Tom helped me take BOTH dogs to the veterinary hospital. Ginko for his wellness exam. Lilly for her recheck #2. The saga is still NOT over.

Seriously.

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Tuesday morning we awoke to a debate between me and Tom over the size of Lilly’s spider bite lump. I said it was bigger, maybe 10%. Tom said it was the same as the night before. Possible surgery hung in the balance. Terrified to make the wrong decision, I waited and waited.

I groped her neck. I took pictures and flipped between the images for nearly an hour, trying to decide what to do.

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So, we now knew that Lilly suffered a spider bite and ensuing infection. But, we’ll never know what kind of spider or where or how it happened, but she needed treatment and fast.

Again, if you are sensitive at all, fair warning … what unfolds next isn’t particularly gross, but it is upsetting if you understand the potential outcomes of a fearful dog going through something both painful and scary.

You can catch up via Dog Spider Bite Part 1, Dog Spider Bite Part 2, and Dog Spider Bite Part 3 of our latest veterinary emergency saga.

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Yesterday, we continued the story of this mysterious mass I found on Lilly’s neck while awaiting a routine veterinary exam. Today, let’s move on with the diagnosis of the sudden onset (possible) veterinary emergency.

Fair warning … if you are squeamish at all.

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Not the best day. Monday. About mid-morning, I locked myself in a small, dark room and fought off an anxiety attack. I had to. With a feature article deadline looming and several more in the wings, my day, my week, boasted no room for a breakdown. So, when Lilly seemed not herself Monday afternoon, I assumed she mirrored my mood.

I was wrong.

But, I didn’t know I was wrong for several more hours. Instead, I gave Lilly an as-needed xanax. Remember, she no longer gets it in addition to antidepressants twice a day every day for her fears / anxiety.

I figured with her annual wellness exam later that day … better safe than sorry.

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As part of our dog product review of the KONG Braidz Monkey, I asked for interpretations of Lilly’s body position in one of the photos. The answer appeared later in the week in Wordless Wednesday: Third Time is a Charm.

What indeed looks like an appeasement gesture (lifting one paw) is a precursor to Lilly gearing up to be her bossy, border collie self. She often throws calming signals BEFORE and AFTER being a complete snot to an ever-patient (or ever-oblivious) Ginko.

Observe.

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