Champion of My HeartA real-time memoir about life with a fearful border collie, by Roxanne Hawn

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Miss Lilly and I hauled our silly selves across town for her veterinary neurology recheck appointment this morning, in advance of this weekend’s third round of cytarabine injections. It has been 6 weeks since her last neuro exam and 9 weeks since her major adverse vaccine reaction relapse. Here is today’s news.

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Monday dawned with a full-blown anxiety attack hovering. Seeking just an hour of quiet, an hour or solace, an hour of something other than work or worry, I headed out to the greenhouse. Big mistake. An unsupervised and steroid-fueled Lilly helped herself to a non-food snack. There went my day.

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Monday, we showed you some agility highlights as Lilly recovers from her neurological troubles. Today, we prove that it isn’t always pretty.

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At our last veterinary neurology appointment, Lilly got the OK to do agility and other more strenuous tasks so that her brain can start figuring out how to rewire certain movements. I convinced myself that Lilly jumped differently and weaved weirdly, but after looking at old agility videos, it seems more like Lilly exaggerates her movements following her “brain injury.” Videos, ahoy!

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Blame it on the steroids and other medications required to treat Lilly’s eningoencephalomyelitis / meningoencephalitis (inflammation of the brain and lining of the brain and spinal cord). Two weeks ago today, Lilly ate 1/2 of a canvass totebag while I was away at a work meeting.

We, of course, induced vomiting in our wayward dog, and we felt pretty confident we’d gotten all / most of the canvass totebag to come back out before it could cause major trouble for Lilly.

Well, 10 days later …

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If your dog has never required medications that cause dramatic behavioral side-effects, count yourself lucky. Friday (3/9/12), we had another MAJOR scare with Lilly. <insert expletive here>

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I’m doing my best to share the whole picture of what exactly went wrong in Lilly’s body and brain following her adverse reaction to a rabies vaccine nearly 2 months ago. My dog training / dog behavior friends will find this VERY interesting.

One of the things Lilly lost along the way — entirely for a while and now spotty? Canine calming signals. For example, typically when you kiss a dog (even one who is used to it), the dog will lick its lips as a way of saying, “I don’t like that” or “You’re making me nervous.” Calming signals can also be used to prevent altercations between dogs. For weeks and weeks and weeks, Lilly did not do that … at all.

Not a big deal to us, but to Ginko? Kind of a big deal.

Combine missing calming signals between dogs with her lifelong behavioral challenges and now poor body control, and you get a tense canine household.

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I could use some help establishing expectations about Lilly’s ongoing struggle with anxiety. Living with a fearful dog can be a day-to-day, minute-by-minute thing, and I’m used to that. However, I’m trying to get a grip on what I can and cannot expect going forward as well as what shifts in dog behavior matter at this point.

Come May, Lilly will be 8 years old. That means we’re 7 1/2 years into her fearful dog reality as a member of our family and a good 5 years since we saw a major shift in her fearful behavior as she reached social maturity (around age 2 – 2 1/2).

In summer 2008, 8ur dog behavior modification work (combined with dog anxiety medications) got underway in earnest (after a couple of years of trying herbal and other scent-based remedies). This includes the Dog Relaxation Protocol MP3 files for which we are now famous for recording and providing FREE downloads.

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To balance the posts lately about Lilly being less than great to Ginko, here is a dog video showing how much the dogs really do love each other. Our holiday message for 2011? Nibble on the ones you love. Ho ho ho!

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Earlier, I shared some new dog behaviors that cropped up after we dropped Lilly’s evening dose of chlomipramine. Others of more concern began to worsen as the levels of meds in her system dropped for real after 6 weeks on a lower dose. So … we’ve decided …

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For about 6 weeks now, Lilly’s chlomipramine dose has been just 75 mg ONCE a day (in the morning). We’ve dropped the nighttime dose. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but some new behaviors have cropped up. Now, I’m having doubts about the dog behavior meds decision.

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It started out as a necessity. Swamped with deadlines and a work trip on the docket, I didn’t realize Lilly was getting low on her medicine. To stretch it a bit longer, I skipped her evening dose of clomipramine (antidepressant that targets her generalized fears) for a few days. I kept it up, however, even after her prescription refill arrived.

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I’ve been lucky enough to interview Dr. Sophia Yin several times for dog behavior and dog training articles. If you’re looking for detailed, science-based information on dog training and dog behavior, her site is a great place to look … especially if your dog interacts with kids at all … and you want to prevent accidental dog bites.

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My absence and recent spike in stress wreaks havoc on Lilly. It’s a terrible feeling to know my actions and emotions impact her well-being. Lilly is hiding … a lot. Read the rest of this entry »

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After nearly 7 years, it still makes me sad to see Lilly slink off to “hide” when she is upset or afraid or nervous. The other day, I found her wedged behind the toilet in the master bathroom. I joined her, and this is what I found.

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