Champion of My Heart

TMI - How Much This is Costing Me

Rox — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:53:38 GMT

Someday, I'll add up everything I've spent (which is A LOT) trying to help Lilly's canine generalized anxiety and somewhat severe social phobia of people and dogs. For now, however, here's a recap of very recent spending:

Veterinary exam and detailed blood work to rule out medical causes ($357)
Dog behaviorist consult, with 3 months support via phone/email ($275)
Gas to drive to CSU for consult ($32)
New anxiety meds x 6 weeks ($150)
New higher-value treats ($10)
DAP (dog appeasing pheromone) diffuser and more DAP ($26)

TOTAL since late June 2008: about $850

To Spray or Not to Spray

Rox — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:53:59 GMT

I've ranted before about encounters with loose dogs (some friendly, some not) that Lilly and I have on our walks in our rural neighborhood. When we talked about these events during our behavior consult, the recommendation for carrying a spray with stopping power came up. Earlier this year, I bought the citronella kind to carry. But, I've yet to use it. Maybe I'm just being too nice.

Yesterday, we had another encounter with that loose Newphie who glommed onto us in early May. Since Lilly is NOT supposed to have contact with strange dogs, I did my best to avoid him and/or distract him, including hollering at him and dropping fistfuls of food on the ground, in hopes of him stopping to eat while we made our get-away and came home.

(A huge shoutout to his utterly irresponsible family for ruining our morning walk.)

But, he's either completely NOT food motivated or just desperate for attention because nothing worked. Lilly full-on snapped and snarled at him, but he didn't care, he still followed us home. Thankfully, as I've mentioned before, he cannot keep pace with us, so he ended up about 10 feet behind us as we hurried home.

And, I did my best to keep feeding Lilly. This dog honestly means no harm, and it's clearly not his fault that he's loose.

Still ... It made me mondo crabby. With the heat, high gas prices, and Lilly's new no-contact plan, I already feel pretty trapped at home. So, our morning walks are pretty important to our mental and physical health.

I guess my question is this:

If you had a dog like Lilly, where would you draw the spray-him line?

Lilly's New Meds (clomipramine) Arrive

Rox — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:11:01 GMT

After last week's drama, I'm happy to report that Lilly's new medicine (clomipramine), the one the animal behaviorist recommended, arrived Friday (7/18) from 1-800-PetMeds, just 2 days after the order was shipped. It took a full week and something like 20 phone calls to make it happen, though. Seriously, it took less time to get the meds here from a warehouse in Florida, than it did for someone to OK the order by phone. All manner of things fouled us up -- a lack of responsiveness from my regular veterinary practice, an administrative rule at the CSU veterinary teaching hospital about what constitutes a "medical" case, and a jumble of miscues relating to the various forms of the drug that are available. It shouldn't have been this hard.

Still, lesson learned. If you cannot work with a behaviorist who happens to be a veterinarian as well, then be sure your regular veterinarian is open and willing to prescribe drugs the behaviorist (typically with a PhD) recommends. And, I would add ... not just willing, but that he or she will hop to it and get it done within a reasonable time frame.

I know it seems like behaviorists are EVERYWHERE these days, but the pool is still pretty limited. You might be surprised how few board certified ones there are:

American College of Veterinary Behaviorists

Certified Applied Animal Behaviorists

Many of them work through their own private consulting business, but you can always do what I did and check your nearest veterinary teaching hospital. (Thanks to Dell Rae, in the CSU media office, for helping me contact the right person.)

From a consumer perspective, I'd also recommend asking local trainers for input on who they like, who gets results, etc.

So, drama, frustration, and delays aside ... we're into Drug Era #2 in Lilly-Town. Our fingers are crossed.

Weekly Training Update (July 18)

Rox — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:24:19 GMT

I worked hard this week to track Lilly's behavior patterns so that we'll have something concrete for comparison down the road when the new drugs and behavior work kick in. Here are a few things I found interesting:

Kissing Fits
Now that I know that Lilly's kissing fits mean anxiety, I try to figure out what causes them. And, the sad new is that sometimes it's a little as hearing men talking up the road from us or a big wind gust (which might possibly be an a heretofore missed aversion to chimes).

I'm using the plan for fixing Attention Seeking Behaviors, which is essentially giving her the cold shoulder, and if necessary leaving the room, closing the door. Sometimes I have to do this 4-5 times in a row before Lilly will stop kissing or seeking my attention.

What's interesting is that if Ginko is nearby, like we're all hanging out on the patio, she'll run over and kiss him instead. Sometimes he just puts up with it. Sometimes he gets frustrated and corrects her. Sometimes he instigates a game of wrestle and chase. I'm not sure what it means, but it made me go hmmmm.

Door Goop & Inside Parties
Much like last summer, we're having a big recall problem. Well, that's not quite right. She'll usually COME to me, but she won't come inside. She gets close to the door, then freaks out and won't come in. So, I'm letting her see me smear peanut butter or spray cheese on a paper plate I've taped to our storm door. (Tom flipped when I said I'd be smearing food on the door, so the plate is our compromise.)

After I smear, I just come inside without a word to Lilly. We're trying to use food to change her feelings about the front door.

The front door and dog-pen door phobia is MUCH worst at night. During the day, she usually comes in and out with no problems. It's one reason we're going with meds twice a day, rather than just in the morning.

Whenever she comes inside, we have a little party. I sing our coming inside song about getting puppy treats, and I dole out many small treats in quick succession, while skipping around and singing. Seriously ... it could be a Broadway show ... OK ... maybe community dinner theater.

But the song is catchy enough that Tom now gets mad because it gets stuck in his head for hours at a time. Maybe I missed my calling as a jingle writer.

I'm also trying to save all the best food-stuffed toys for evening. That way, when Lilly does come in for the night, there are many fun things to do. I have to stuff 4-5 different things since Ginko always steals 1 or 2, but she seems to like the toys, even if she only plays for 30 minutes or so.

Once I can get her inside, the goal is to prevent her habit/instinct to go and hide, like she has been in recent weeks.

We've also been instructed to toss treats on the floor at random times, so that evening is full of surprises.

It's probably too early (especially with the delay in getting her meds) to say if it's working, but she did spend a couple evenings sitting with me on the couch, rather than hiding. So, that's something.

Still, the battle over coming inside continues. Sometimes after 60-90 minutes of trying various tactics, I end up having to grab her and carry her inside. Not the best solution, but by that point it's getting dark, and there are too many dangers around here. (Our neighbors had a bear visit overnight last week.)

Where's Willy Wonka When You Need Him?

Rox — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:23:33 GMT

I've always given Lilly about 300 x more treats than anyone else I know. I can easily go through a quart-size ziplock of of training food in an hour. It's one reason she often eats small meals. So, now that we're working entirely under the behavior modification model that says "food changes how a dog feels emotionally about a situation," I'm going through even more food. Which makes me wish for a Willy Wonka creation -- something like the bottomless bait bag.

Over the years, I've been accused of many things relating to my use of food in Lilly's training. I've been told I'm "rewarding" her fear and making it worse. I've been told I'm "rewarding" her for absolutely nothing. I've even been told I'm "cheating" by rewarding Lilly's tricks with food. Seriously. A fellow participant at a humane society walk-a-thon, whose son was very impressed by Lilly's tricks along the route, told her young son "Yes ... but she's feeding her." As if I was the biggest fraud on the planet. Have a nice day. :O)

Since Lilly is essentially on house-arrest during our retraining and total re-contextualization process (I made that up), we have to go for our neighborhood walks when we're less likely to run into strange people or dogs. Last Saturday, I tried to do just that by getting out earlier than usual. Apparently on weekends, that's NOT possible.

I loaded up my bait bag and off we went. Everything went great until we had to pass by some always-barking-at-us dogs on the corner. We usually get by them just fine by crossing the street to add lateral distance.

BUT, this day when we passed them the second time on our way home, the grumpy old guy across the street was out. There was a big rumbling truck and trailer in the way. Another guy was using earthmoving equipment in that driveway, so the dogs we usually avoid were barking at the men (and us). Toss in the fact that grumpy old guy also has 2 pretty vicious spaniels that often run around off leash, and I knew we were headed into crapola, but it's the ONLY way home.

We probably could have made it through, if I'd had enough food, but my coffer was running low, and JUST AS WE APPROACHED, grumpy old guy decided to have a cursing fit at the dogs barking at him.

So, Lilly and I are trying to squeeze between screaming man, loud equipment, and two snarling dogs. It was a no-win situation, so we ran. Better to get through quickly with no food, than the try and work the program in the midst of what likely seemed to Lilly like a war-zone.

Check. Weekend walks are out.

A sad (probably not true) realization

Rox — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 08:09:26 GMT

Last Thursday was a long day. I worked all day, drove 2+ hours in the head up to CSU, met with our behaviorist for 2 hours, then drove home (another 2 hours). My head was reeling from her insights about Lilly's behavior, especially about all the kissing being an anxiety outburst (just like snarking or hiding). And, here I thought she just LOVED ME a lot. One question, among the countless asked, echoed in my head as I drove home. My iPod battery pooped out, so I had regular radio and my own thoughts to keep me company during the drive home. And, I had a very sad thought.

The question: Does Lilly have separation anxiety?

The answer: Not one bit

I've always been happy about the fact that Lilly doesn't have a self- or home-destructive meltdown when I leave. Granted, since I work at home, I'm not gone all that much, but Lilly and Ginko cope just fine being home alone for 3, 5, 8, 10 hours at a time if necessary.

I've never left Lilly in a kennel, but that's more about her being freaked out by sights and sounds ... and the staff potentially not handling it well ... which might cause a HUGE setback. BUT, in the right setting, I honestly think Lilly would be relatively fine without me for a few days.

BUT, driving home, when I was tired and overwhelmed, I came up with this gem ...

Maybe Lilly doesn't have separation anxiety because she's glad when I'm gone. Maybe being away from me is a relief. Maybe she needs a break from our always-on relationship.

How sad is that?

When I shared this idea with our behaviorist, she was quick to dispel the idea. And, I pretty much believe her.

Still, there's a kernel of truth in there. I realize now just how often I cue Lilly to do tricks, to comply with daily household things, etc. So, as part of our new plan, I'm trying very, very hard not to ask unnecessary things of her. I'm consciously trying to zip-it.

When we walk, we walk. Period. I don't ask for HEEL or SWITCH or SIDE. When I take her to the pen at night, I don't ask her to POTTY or HURRY or COME IN. She's a big girl. She knows what I expect in most situations, so much of what I ask is already a default behavior. Sit before I put the food bowl down. Sit before I open the door or gate. All the usual polite dog things.

Lilly is a good girl. Most times, in normal daily situations, she doesn't need me to tell her what to do. So rather than keep up the banter, I'm saving my words and actions to help her cope in situations when she DOES need me. Let's hope it works.

Oh, I'm ranting

Rox — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:01:04 GMT

It's not like clomipramine comes from Mars or is some new-fangled drug. It isn't. It's a pretty common medication for dogs with anxiety. Why, then, is it so @#$@# hard to get it where I live? And, why is the dog version SO MUCH MORE expensive than the human version? Talk about screwing the pooch, or at least the girl who loves her!!!

I could SCREAM. Actually, I sat and cried for a bit yesterday, but I feel like punching something.

I'm still not convinced it's going to work out since I just called and was told that my prescription is pending authorization, but here is the saga of me trying to get Lilly the medicine she needs.

Following our Thursday night appointment, the behaviorist faxed the prescription recommendation to our family veterinarian Friday afternoon. I called Saturday morning around 10 am to make sure it'd been called into the human pharmacy we use. It not only had NOT been called it, it would NOT be called in because there wasn't a veterinarian at the hospital that day. Yes, a Saturday. There was supposed to be, but wasn't ... just like on June 17 when I drove Lilly down for her exam for naught.

So, on Monday, I waited until 11 am to call and see if the prescription had been called in. It hadn't, but promises were made. Then, 2 hours later, I get a call, telling me that the Walgreens I use doesn't have the drug in the right dosages (20, 40, & 60 mg) that I needed. They only come in 25, 50, and 75 mg capsules that cannot be divided. That means, I'd have to have them specially compounded at another pharmacy (much farther away), but no one seemed to know how that would be done, who'd have to OK it, etc.

I called our behaviorist and left a message asking for help. When she called back, she recommended trying to get my vet to script out the order to another local hospital that had the drug in-house. So, I called the 2 big referral practices in the Denver area that I know, and NEITHER of them had the drug in the building. One of them, however, recommended a practice (just a regular one) that might have it. I called them, and indeed they did have the drug in stock. BUT, they would not fill it, even if my veterinarian asked them to, without seeing Lilly for an exam.

Now, I totally get the whole doctor-patient relationship thing. I really do, but clearly Lilly has a VET, she's seen a specialist at CSU for pete's sake (all of which I explained). Thanks ... for ... NOTHING!

My other options were to drive 2-hours each way to pick up the medicine at CSU (if I could make it in time before the pharmacy closed ... which is why I couldn't get the first week's worth of pills while I was there in the first place). OR, just order the darn medicine online ... which is something I've never done.

Since staff at my regular vet essentially pushed the responsibility for figuring out the online thing myself, I made several more calls. Despite causing yet another delay in Lilly's treatment, I ordered it online Monday afternoon. The behaviorist will have a veterinarian at CSU approve the order.

Shipping is free, but to get 6 weeks worth of Clomicalm is nearly $150. The nice thing about Clomicalm is that it's in tablet form, so the pills can be split to make different dosages as needed. BUT, if Lilly could somehow use the dosages in the human or generic form (capsules), it would only be around $25 a month once we get up to the higher dose.

I'm not kidding ... $25 for people, $150 for dogs.

In addition to pandering for sympathy or shared indignation, here's why I'm telling you this ... Living outside a city the size of Denver (despite perceptions elsewhere that it's a hick town) it should NOT be this hard to get what Lilly needs. I think it means that veterinary medicine, as a whole, doesn't take cases like ours seriously.

I might have been able to call around and find the med locally, if I had all the time in the world, but I feared being pushed to the brink by someone else telling me they won't fill the prescription ... as if I'm some kind of junkie looking for a fix. It's not like I'm calling about ketamine for pity's sake.

This whole medicine quest is exponentially exasperating in a way that even my best words cannot convey.

So, while I wean Lilly off the amitriptyline, with the knowledge of that many behaviors I thought meant something else really mean she's out-of-her-mind anxious, I'm in for a tough few days until the meds arrive and begin to kick in.

I took detailed notes Monday so that we'd have something for comparison later, and Lilly interrupted me 16 times between 9 am and noon with anxiety-related behavior (mostly seeking my attention in a very determined manner). It makes an already stressful, deadline-soaked day even more so.

Behavior spikes like this are called Extinction Bursts, which is a scientific way of saying "It's going to get worse before it gets better."

Ho-ly crap!

The New Training Plan, The Basics

Rox — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:05:50 GMT

Lilly's new behavior modification plan is 26 pages long. On Saturday, I read through the entire thing, and I went back through the initial stages in detail. Then, I emailed a bunch of additional information to our behaviorist, along with a slew of questions. Here is the basic outline of the plan.

The New Drug
She selected clomipramine HCI (also known as Anafranil in human medicine or Clomicalm in veterinary medicine). It's another tri-cyclic antidepressant. The thought is that since Lilly did well on the amitriptyline for a while, that this one might work better. If you look it up online, most articles say it's used for separation anxiety and/or obsessive-compulsive behaviors --- neither of which Lilly has. BUT, maybe it works for regular anxiety too. For example, this article about a noise phobic dog talks about clomipramine (and the other drugs as well).

There was also a big article about dogs and cats taking such medications in the NY Times Magazine this weekend, but it's more of a trend piece, so you'll find arguments for and against it, but not much practical info if, like me, you're struggling in the reality of trying to counter-condition a very fearful dog.

Anyway, the dosage ramp-up looks like this:

20 mg twice a day for 2 weeks (then evaluate for side effects)
40 mg twice a day for 2 weeks (then evaluate behavior symptoms)
60 mg twice a day for 12 weeks (then evaluate overall response)

As a reference, I'll add that Lilly weighs about 34-35 pounds.

We should know by weeks 8-12, if it's going to work or not. If so, then the idea is we'd keep her at the top-most dose for 6-12 months before considering tapering her off. If not, then we'll add or change medication.

New Measures
My old measure of success was the absence of or recovery from either shutdown or snarky episodes. The rule was if she'll eat and she'll do tricks or continue to work in some fashion, then she's OK. Since I'm no longer allowed to ask Lilly to work through her fears, here are the new measures, along with the absence of barking/growling, for the effectiveness of my work:

Small pupils
Blinky eyes
Deep breaths
Relaxed body
Normal posture (not flat, not overly alert)
The ability to WATCH ME even in tough situations

For a while, it doesn't matter what she will or won't do command-wise. It's all about how she feels, which I will attempt to counter-condition through use of food, along with my own body and voice and breathing.

Things to Avoid (for now)

Any verbal corrections, if she growls, snaps, whatever
Commands/tricks (other than sit) through her fear
Exposure to strange people or dogs
Any unnecessary cues for behaviors throughout the day (simply ask less of her)

Efforts at Home
I won't go into it all right now, but I'm to use various strategies to deal with Lilly's near-constant attention seeking (which I always thought meant she was bored or loved me A LOT, but is indeed anxiety), with her major fear episodes relating coming inside, especially at night, and with her total shutdown hiding once she comes inside (again, especially at night).

This includes sometimes giving her the cold shoulder, up to and including leaving the room and closing the door between us. Honestly, I'm having a hard time with that emotionally, but I'm doing it anyway.

Retraining Protocols
The baseline work begins with our behaviorist's own version of the Relaxation Protocol, which as it turns out was originally developed by Victoria Voith in 1979. It's somewhat different from the one from Karen Overall that Lilly and I did for about 45 days last fall. Many of the questions I emailed address these differences so that I can understand not just how but why I'm doing certain things. So, there's a 10-day protocol at home as baseline work.

In addition, we'll do a protocol for orienting and giving me attention, which clearly, she's already good at, but we'll use it to re-orient if she sees or hears something that might send her into a fit of fear or stress. Again, I have questions into our behaviorist about how this is different from the LEAVE IT, WATCH ME, LOOK AT THAT, we've been doing.

So, I'll work through these Protocols 1A and 1 B at home, then I'll do these same protocols in public places where I can easily control the distance and exposure to strange people and dogs.

Protocol 2 will deal with other environmental changes that freak Lilly out ... like sounds, things flying overhead, things flapping in the wind, etc.

Again, this whole time I'm ONLY working to keep her relaxed.

Then, there are specific Protocols 3A and 3B that deal with exposure to people and to dogs. I'm trying NOT to worry yet about where I'll find people and dogs to use during this stage.

Theoretically, we could get through all this work in a month, but I'm supposed to work at Lilly's own pace, so it could be longer.

Weekly Training Update (July 11) - A New Era

Rox — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:22:30 GMT

Lilly and I braved painful rush-hour traffic in ridiculous heat to drive 2+ hours (each way) to a consultation last night with a behaviorist at the Colorado State University's Veterinary Teaching Hospital in Fort Collins, CO. The full written diagnosis, new drug and dosage selection, and detailed behavior modification plan is pending. And, I'm still obsessively processing (while madly cleaning my entire house) everything we talked about during our nearly 2 hour consult. BUT, here are a couple things I'm sorting through and trying to understand based on what I managed to absorb last night.

1. Wrong drug. The reason the amitriptyline didn't fully work is that it widely targets a bunch of neurotransmitters and bumps them up just a smidgen. And, dogs like Lilly who are genetically predisposed to anxiety and who had a somewhat deprived puppyhood in addition to being quite ill as a pup have different brain chemistry issues. She simply needs a drug that addresses the couple of neurotransmitters she's low on. (Clearly, this is my remedial understanding, but you get the idea.)

2. Too much OC, not enough CC. I've been doing far too much operant conditioning (task work, clicker training). I've focused too much on action to control her behavior caused by fear/anxiety, rather than trying to make her feel better so that the behaviors don't happen in the first place. So, for a good long while, I'll have to work almost exclusively in classic conditioning mode and completely relieve the pressure of asking for specific behaviors. I have to stop treating every walk, every contact, every game as a training opportunity. Simply put, I ask too much of Lilly ... all ... day ... long.

3. Worse than we thought. Many of the behaviors I thought were happy ones at home (like the kissing fits she has) are anxiety based. So, much of the time, when I thought she was totally fine, she wasn't. I'm having a hard time coping with this tidbit ... truth be told.

After I get the full written report and have time to ponder it, I'll write more. But, for me, those are the headlines.

Some Hiking News and Photos

Rox — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:41:10 GMT

Behind the scenes at Champion of My Heart, I get private advice from some readers. They simply feel more comfortable emailing me directly with ideas, input, support. And, that's totally fine. One such idea from a friend was to take Lilly on different hikes this summer to keep her out and working, even though we're taking a break from classes until we figure out the anxiety medicine stuff. So, here are a few updates on recent outings:

Saturday, June 28
We went for our usual walk in the valley. It's a 3-mile out and back. Most often, I start with what I know. It's my own form of criteria control.

Everything was going fine as usual, until I noticed some neighbors and their 3 dogs (two white shepherds, one cocker) headed our way. Well in advance, I crossed over the wide county road (which is dirt), so that we could pass them with a good lateral distance. It seemed to be working, until all of a sudden ... it wasn't.

I kid you not. Lilly went from a perfect HEEL + WATCH ME to a full-on reactive display in a snap.

You know those cartoons, where someone gets shocked or electrocuted and all their hair stands up and smokes? It was very much like that.

I called her off once, but she spun around and did it again.

We did finally get past them, but I had leash burns and was NOT happy. I hadn't seen a prolonged freakout like this in probably 18-24 months. A snark is one thing, but this reaction lasted.

Maybe the shepherds looked at her funny. I don't know because I was looking at Lilly not them. Maybe it's because we just happened to pass them in the same spot of Lilly's tussle with another pair of dogs. Maybe it's because the many dogs at House #2 from the same rant barked the entire time we were walking. (It takes us an hour to do 3 miles due to terrain, so that's a lot of barking.)

I've heard that House #2 is running a rescue of some sort and that one of the dogs bit the tip of someone's finger off recently, so I'm particularly careful passing by there these days. A couple of dogs were out loose last week, but they didn't approach us, so I kept going.

OR, maybe Lilly just felt like crap and snapped.

Sunday, June 29
The next day was a hiking day at Centennial Cone Open Space, which I've mentioned before. Instead of our usual single-track trail hike, I took Lilly up the center trail, which is much wider ... figuring if we saw any other dogs, she'd need the extra space.

She did amazingly well. We saw one other dog, twice, since he and his person were doing the opposite out and back that we were. The first time we saw them, Lilly and I were approaching a gate. I was glad for the barrier because the dog was off leash. He looked mellow and nice, probably some kind of lab-staffie mix. BUT, I waited at the gate, and the guy leashed up without me having to ask. Isn't that nice?

So, as we passed, I thanked him and quickly explained that Lilly wasn't great with other dogs, etc. He told me that his dog wasn't either, but Lilly and this other dog passed each other without even a nervous glance ... both times.

We also passed a handful of solo male hikers/runners. Not a lot of gals out at the Cone this weekend. But, Lilly is generally not reactive towards people. Still, I asked for her OFF TRAIL behavior, and I fed her treats for sitting nicely out of the way while others passed.

Here are some photos from our outing:

Happy Girl on Trail

Centennial Cone for which the park is named. We usually climb it a few times a year, but we've never taken Lilly all the way up. The top part on the other side is fairly vertical and rocky, and there a lots of rattle snakes, so we usually go sans dogs.

These meadows provide grazing for the deer and elk herds.

The Continental Divide. Despite a pretty snowy winter. The top-most peaks are pretty bare already. See how wide the trail is? Much better than squinchy single-track, with drop offs.

Friday, July 4
Since it was a holiday, Tom and I took both dogs for a hike in the Cone. Because of Ginko's reconstructed knees, we're very careful not to take him too far (only about an hour total), but he was still sore.

Lilly and I often got alone, so it was nice to have the boys along. It was a mixed use day, so we passed A LOT of mountain bikers. Most were fine, but one sizable group included one guy who nearly ran over Ginko's tail. We'd yielded 75% of the wide trail to the group. We stopped and fed the dogs treats as the bikes passed. But, this one guy stayed on our side of the trail, even though he had plenty of time to move over with his friends. It seems he didn't want to slow down or move, so he flew by, nearly smashing Ginko's long tail.

Still, the dogs had fun. We even let them splash around in a trough that fills with cold, fresh water from a natural spring.

Here are a couple shots of my 2 monkeys side by side. Lilly seems happy. Don't you think?

Add Windows to the List

Rox — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 06:28:53 GMT

Replacing the worst of our old windows (since we can't afford to do them all this year) is a part of our home improvement work this summer. Sadly, Lilly has decided that the new windows are scary.

It's the noise. These nice, super-efficient windows have very tight clearances. While it's barely audible to me, there is indeed a tiny sliding squeak whenever we open or close any of the new windows. It sends Lilly shooting off into another room or the basement to hide.

I can only hope she adjusts or that it's just a symptom of our recent set-back.

After all, our old vacuum died, and that bad boy used to drive her under the bed for hours. The new bagless one doesn't seem to phase her. In fact, I nearly tripped over her recently while cleaning because she was actually following me around while I vacuumed.

That's unheard of, I tell you.

Vacuum victory ... window loss. I guess I should accept that it's always going to be something.

Canine Noise Fears: A Cautionary Tale

Rox — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 05:44:33 GMT

Yesterday through our neighborhood email list, I received a note about a lost dog. For some reason, I didn't receive the plea for help from the dog's owners, but another neighbor realized the oversight and forwarded it to me. She knows I adore dogs. (That's putting it mildly.) She knows I frequent the roads and trails nearby. Today, I found the lost dog while on my morning walk with Lilly. I was excited to be the hero, until I realized he was dead.

Call me naive (or more likely in shock), but when I first saw his beautiful buckskin-colored coat, I thought he was sleeping. I figured since he'd been scared, since he'd been missing for a day or two, maybe he was hungry and tired. Maybe that's why he didn't hear us coming up the road.

Regular readers know that Lilly isn't always friendly to strange dogs, so I made a hasty retreat. We ran home (quite a ways) the best we could. I figured that I'd drop her off, grab a better leash and some stinky food and go back and get Mr. Lost Dog. I figured he could stay with me until I could reach his family by phone.

It didn't dawn on me that he was dead until I returned and started calling his name and he didn't move. He wasn't bloody. He wasn't visibly injured. He indeed looked like he was sleeping. His big, sweet, block-head resting.

There he was, down an embankment, laying on his side in the weeds and grass. I inched my way down the slope. Flies covered his eyes and his lips. I started to cry.

I climbed back up to my car, drove home and made the call. I probably should have taken a moment to write a little script so that I could deliver the news well, but I didn't. I simply explained who I was, where I lived, that I'd seen the email, that I'd found him, and that I'm sorry to say he's dead. There was a lot of crying on both ends of the phone line.

Make no mistake that finding his body, for me, is the equivalent of finding the body of a dead child on the side of the road. There are tough lessons here, so stick with me.

The note about his disappearance bothered me ... a lot. For privacy and copyright reasons, I won't publish the text of the email, but I will explain that he escaped his chain link pen during a thunderstorm out of fear. The note included his name, but it also used the word "stupid" twice, including that he answers to "Hey, stupid!"

I often joke in emails and in conversations about Lilly being silly or nutty or mentally ill, so I can only assume that calling a dog who fled in fear "stupid" was a joke, meant to mask worry and stress. Unfortunately, if people don't know you, such banter can come off as mean or uncaring. So, my first thought, as the mother of a noise sensitive dog, was "That poor dog was left out during a storm." My second thought? "And, he's the stupid one?"

A Rant
Let me be clear on where I stand: No dog should be left outside during a thunderstorm. It's reasonable to assume most, if not all, dogs are afraid of loud claps of thunder. Even if they don't run away because of it, the stress of exposure when they are outside and (likely) alone is unnecessary, if not cruel. Noise impacts their health and well-being. Period.

Our Prevention Strategy
Because of Lilly's extreme noise sensitivity, I've worked VERY hard to prevent full-on noise phobias. In addition to never being left outside when we're not home, she is always protected during storms (and fireworks season) by being crated in the basement as soon as the sky starts to rumble.

She's so tuned into the process that one roll of thunder brings her immediately to my side. We walk together, with Ginko, to the puppy treat jar, and the three of us head straight for the crates. We've repeated this process so many times that it's nearly a default behavior. If I don't move fast enough, she'll open the basement door herself and head downstairs without me.

Is she hiding? Maybe. But, I think the pattern is simply well established where she knows *that* noise marks a time to retreat to her crate.

Since Ginko was home with us 4 years ago when lightening struck our home, which was very loud, he's much more sensitized to storm noise. He doesn't completely freak, but he does bark in a way that says he's nervous.

Benefit of the Doubt
So, considering the devastating news, I'm inclined to give the dog's family the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they didn't know he was afraid of thunder. Maybe it was an accident he got left outside. Maybe it was just a fluke that he made a run for it. I truly am sorry for their terrible loss. The whole thing breaks my heart.

Another Rant
However, I'd like to get my hands on the @#$@#$ who hit him and didn't stop to help. What kind of human trash can collide with a dog on a road and not report it, not try to help, etc? If the dog was that scared, he probably ran wildly into the road (less than a half mile from his home). It's likely the driver could not avoid him, but still ... stop the darn car and do something. Don't just leave him on the side of the road. No living being deserves that.

Messed Up
It's been a tough day for me. I'm hoping his family got him before today's storms came in. It may sound silly to some, but the thought of him laying there in the rain rips me up. I wanted to go sit with him until his family could get him -- both so that they could find him faster and because I didn't want him to be alone. They said it wasn't necessary.

If he wasn't so big, I would have moved him myself.

I've had a hard time working today because the sight of him haunts me, but what haunts me more is that he died because he's afraid of loud noises. The sky went kaboom. He ran. He's now dead.

So, that's the story of this sweet boy. Learn the lesson, please. Take canine noise fears seriously! Protect your dogs.

She's a Helper

Rox — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 05:42:41 GMT

Summer 2008 is full of home projects aimed at bolstering the energy efficiency of our house, which was built in 1978. I mostly fill the role of snack provider, beverage purveyor, and clean-up crew. Lilly? Well, she has decided dropping sticks at Tom's feet (no matter how high off the ground they are) is a HUGE help.

The good news is that he's nice enough (or naive enough) to humor her and toss the stick each time he adjusts the ladder. And, the benefit to me? Well, I had one solid day last week of working quiet since she was outside pestering Tom.

Find Lilly, A Photo Game

Rox — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 06:08:37 GMT

Sometimes I sit outside to work when the weather allows. The dogs move from shade to sun, from grass to sidewalk, from under my feet to out in the pasture. It's a good way to spend a long workday. I could not resist this photo of Ginko sacked out in the sun. He gets very brown from all the UV here at 8,000 feet. Can you find Lilly?

Freedom, Freedom, Freedom

Rox — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 06:08:14 GMT

Happy Independence Day! It's a big holiday at our house since Tom loves fireworks so much. So, rather than proffer our usual Friday Training Update, we're taking a holiday to celebrate freedom. In Lilly's case, it's sometimes the freedom to NOT do what I ask. Still, nobody looks cuter with a flag!

The Full Relax-y

Rox — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 07:27:22 GMT

In the grand history of the Relaxation Protocol,there are tales of dogs melting into the ground. Heads down, faces relaxed, they settle in no matter what. Well, with Lilly, that never happened. I had to reward the tip of the hip and ask for it. I had to specifically shape putting her head down. We call this training tool slash trick CHIN! Here's a video of the finished product.

Rolling ... Variations on a Theme

Rox — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 06:09:36 GMT

Last Friday, I worked outside on the front patio while Tom began installing new windows in my office. I don't typically work on Fridays during the summer (a tiny bonus of being self-employed), but since he was busy, and I was in NO mood to clean house, I worked. After spending hours and hours and hours transcribing interviews, I got camera happy. Here are some tricks I thought you might enjoy seeing.

Roll It
Now, I posted a photo of this eons ago, with instructions on how I taught it, but seeing it in motion is much funnier.

Roll Over
OK. So, I know this isn't as impressive, but Lilly is the first dog I've ever taught to roll over, so it still counts as a brag.

A Full Balance Beg
Lilly's original beg requires putting her front paws on my knee for balance. She was just too cagey and nervous when I tried to up the ante and get her to balance without help. In recent weeks, however, we figured out that if she had something to focus upon, then she could balance. So far, I cannot get her to pop into this position on her own. I have to hold a stick or toy above her head in one hand, then pick up her feet with the other until she's in position. Then, I say BALANCE, and she'll usually hold it ... for quite a long time, actually.

The key is that it doesn't work with food, only toys ... a stick is even better. Look at that tiny waist!

Lilly's Blood Tests Revealed

Rox — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 06:10:04 GMT

It's been a week since the blood tests with no news, so I called the veterinary hospital to check on results. I left a message and got a call back from one of the technicians. I don't have details like the actual values to share, but I'm told everything is "perfect." Lilly is a healthy, healthy, healthy girl with "excellent" thyroid levels, no signs of any adrenal problems, solid kidney, liver, pancreas, etc. numbers. That's not what's causing the set-back.

So, I asked the technician for a phone meeting with our veterinarian to discuss a change in Lilly's anti-depressants since something isn't working right with the amitriptyline after all these months. I also asked about them arranging a drug-only consult, if they can. Since as long-time readers recall, when I looked into it last year, the cost for a full behavioral consult was prohibitive.

Because of the holiday and our vet's limited schedule this week, I probably won't get to chat with him until next week.

So, the GOOD news is that she's quite healthy. The BAD news is that our "new" plan is still in flux.

Greenhouse Update

Rox — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 06:26:14 GMT

So, after getting overly optimistic and losing my tomato and pepper plants, I ended up waiting until Memorial Day weekend to plant the greenhouse. The beds and some of the pots I did from seed, but with a very short growing season here, I went with good-sized plants for tomatoes and peppers. Here's how it looked last Friday.

There are tomatoes (2 big plants and 1 small one) toward the back of the top shelf. Next come 2 kinds of pepper plants (yellow and pointy, then green bells). Don't you love when I use horticulture speak? The small pot holds rosemary, then the flatter pot is my second attempt at parsley (which is like a darn weed, but is having trouble sprouting this year ... more on that below).

On the lower shelf, from back to front, you can see a cactus and a mum plant, then some arugula that's gone to seed, and a big pot of basil that's doing well.

On the ground, toward the back, we have peas and beans, acorn squash, zucchini, and pumpkins. I also have a small rhubarb plant in a big pot, but you can't see it from this angle.

In the lower bed, from back to front, I put in carrots, radishes, and beets. I'm a little worried about how leggy the plants are getting, but Tom assures me they are fine. I'll have to thin them soon.

The upper bed, however, is giving me fits. At the back is more arugula, which is doing fine, but the lettuce in the middle did not come up except for a couple spots. And, the parsley didn't come up at all. I don't know why. There's also another small pumpkin plant in a pot that Tom's mom sent home last week.

So, I would like to fill in the top bed with something, but I don't know what.

So far, we haven't picked anything yet, except for some baby arugula for snacking and some basil that I used in a sauce last week. But, there are flower buds on some of the squash, so I have hopes we'll see some produce in the next couple weeks.

A Matter of Perspective

Rox — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:28:03 GMT

I had a brainstorm over the weekend. I simply need to think about Lilly's recent and rampant displays of fear and reactivity like I would if she were vomiting. I wouldn't get mad. I wouldn't get frustrated. I would be worried. Just like an upset tummy or a bad limp, Lilly's recent behaviors are merely tell me she does NOT feel well (in one way or another).

I need to keep my own spirits up since I'm facing a set-back that feels like the last 2 years of work are gone. And, this modified mindset just might help.

Let's hope the doctors call soon with news from last week's oodles of tests!