Tightrope of Gratitude and Grief, Taking Care of Sick Dogs

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Whine | Posted on 11-02-2013

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I remain befuddled by the reality that Lilly may still die from this vaccine-induced brain and spinal cord inflammation. That, I think, reflects my overall sense of optimism in life. Early on, it  never truly dawned on me that she would NOT survive. And, yet, I know I easily get bogged down by worry and not-so-positive thinking. While massaging Lilly’s back for more than an hour Sunday night, I realized that I constantly walk a tightrope between gratitude that she still lives at my side and (preemptive) grief over what her loss would mean to me.

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Breaking (Bad) News: New, Dangerous Symptoms a Year After Adverse Rabies Vaccine Reaction

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Whine, Hot News | Posted on 25-01-2013

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Friday morning (1/25/13) around 6:45 am, Lilly had her first seizure in about a year. Then, we found an absurd amount of blood in her urine, and our veterinary team found AIR inside the walls of Lilly’s bladder. That’s. NOT. Good. Potentially life-threatening, even.

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Dog Behavior Update – On Not Asking for Much

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Training, Dog Training Update, Dog Whine, Dogs on Drugs | Posted on 18-01-2013

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When Lilly became so dangerously ill nearly a year ago, we abandoned her anxiety meds because of their dampening effect on her now troubled brain. And, we essentially stopped working on dog training issues. These days, I ask her for very little, and the results are these.

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Crappy, Crappy Monday

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Whine | Posted on 15-01-2013

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A blaring alarm jolted me out of bed Monday morning. I squeezed our morning dog-care routine into as little time as possible, before putting on many layers to brave the extreme cold. Alas, I ended up cancelling Lilly’s neurology exam. Here is our frustrating tale.

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The Funny and The Not So Funny Moments of Having a Dog With Neurological Deficits

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Whine | Posted on 14-01-2013

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Sometimes we have to laugh at the predicaments spawned by Lilly’s ongoing neurological problems — otherwise, we’ll cry. Here are a few examples of the funny and the not so funny moments in our lives.

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Dog Mom Doubts

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Whine | Posted on 10-01-2013

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I suffer certain doubts about how Lilly’s vaccine-induced illness is going and how it might end. I experience real dread at key points in the hills and valleys of our journey — as it stretches now into its second year. At times, I fear that I’m making bad decisions about Lilly’s ongoing treatment. I still cry … a lot. Perhaps that goes without saying.  Read the rest of this entry »

Dog Dad in Charge ~ What Didn’t Happen?

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Rant, Dog Whine | Posted on 07-11-2012

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Poor Tom. As soon as I headed to town to see my mom Tuesday afternoon, things went to #*!!. When I returned a couple of hours later, I saw signs of things amiss. Here is the sad, sad tale.

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A Dog Blog Post for the Mojo Challenged

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Whine | Posted on 05-11-2012

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Exhausted doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of our current state. All the worry, stress, and veterinary activity has caught up with us. These chemo weekends kick our @$$e$.

We also stayed mostly off social media last week out of respect to our friends in the wake of the big storm, including Sam and Marge on Staten Island. We didn’t want to clog anyone’s feed with our day-to-day hoohah.

BUT, it’s Monday (as I write this), and we’re looking for another fresh start. Here is a brief update on Lilly’s cytarabine injection weekend #4.

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Another Canine Emergency – Dogs on Steroids Eat Things That Aren’t Food

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Rant, Dog Whine, Hot News | Posted on 09-10-2012

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Monday dawned with a full-blown anxiety attack hovering. Seeking just an hour of quiet, an hour or solace, an hour of something other than work or worry, I headed out to the greenhouse. Big mistake. An unsupervised and steroid-fueled Lilly helped herself to a non-food snack. There went my day.

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World Rabies Day 2012 – Insights After a Near-Deadly Adverse Rabies Vaccine Reaction

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Rant, Dog Whine, Hot News, Newsworthy | Posted on 28-09-2012

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Today is World Rabies Day, which is meant to “raise awareness about the impact of human and animal rabies, how easy it is to prevent it, and how to eliminate the main global sources.” Nine months into a life / death struggle following Lilly’s severe adverse rabies vaccine reaction, I look at things a bit differently.

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Adverse Vaccine Reaction Treatment Costs Top $15K

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Rant, Dog Whine, Hot News, Newsworthy | Posted on 24-08-2012

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It’s official. I hadn’t added everything up since the end of June, but I did on Friday, and we topped $15,000 in expenses to treat Lilly’s severe rabies vaccine reaction. To be exact … $15,095.01. People have been asking, so I’ve again set up a chip-in, if you’re so inclined. No pressure. No expectations at all. Read the rest of this entry »

Veterinary Clients Behaving Badly – Toward Other Clients

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Rant, Dog Whine | Posted on 21-08-2012

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Buckle up, kids. I’m ranting today, and it’s a curse-soaked doozy.

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Blood Work, Veterinary Neurology Recheck, and Rude People – Oh, My!

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Rant, Dog Whine, Hot News | Posted on 20-08-2012

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There is a rant brewing about something that happened at the veterinary hospital today with a fellow dog owner, but for now … let’s only focus on Lilly’s recovery status. A tiny bit of potentially scary news today.

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Update August 17 – Adverse Rabies Vaccine Reaction Relapse

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Brag, Dog Life, Dog Photo, Dog Rant, Dog Whine, Hot News | Posted on 17-08-2012

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Lilly made great gains in her recovery through about Wednesday. She hasn’t been as great since then. She seems weak, tired, wobbly, and droopy. I worry about her gums and tongue being pale. We’re not getting much sleep at night. BUT, Lilly can walk again — not well, but she can walk.

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Update August 11 – Adverse Rabies Vaccine Reaction Relapse

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Posted by Roxanne Hawn | Posted in Adverse Vaccine Reaction - Recovery from Meningoencephalomyelitis, Dog Life, Dog Photo, Dog Rant, Dog Whine, Hot News | Posted on 11-08-2012

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If Lilly was 5% of herself Friday (Aug 10), we’d say she is 20% of herself today (Saturday, Aug 11). Just talked to our neurologist, though, and he said I’m a “brutal Olympic judge” because he would have given her a much higher score. Some photos from today.

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