Dog With Brain Inflammation – What I Won’t Miss

You knew it was coming. As much as I try really hard not to be a purveyor of gloom, there are some really awful parts to taking care of a very sick dog for so very long. Here’s what I won’t miss … at all!

flat lilly on the tile 8-14-13 -- what I won't miss

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What I Won’t Miss

  • Seeing my once lithe, muscular puppy-girl look like a swollen, uncomfortable blob
  • The worry of having such a dangerously ill dog
  • The dread that any given day may be The Day
  • The stress of managing her day-to-day care — with meds required 5 times a day
  • The strain of the expense and its budget-crushing reality
  • Not sleeping past 4:30-5:00 am — ever
  • Having feces and urine be the first thing I smell each morning (and often throughout the day)
  • Feeling like I’m always covered in grossness
  • Doing far too much incontinence laundry every day
  • Expressing Lilly’s eliminations (both ways) several times every day (always ME because Tom can’t do it and is afraid he’ll hurt her)
  • Changing soiled diapers
  • Cleaning up a messy, stinky girl that I love so very much
  • Walking around all day bent over, trying to help, cajole, encourage Lilly as she walks
  • The guilt that all this begin with a routine rabies vaccine (well, that may never go away)
  • Waiting by the phone for test results (presumably bad news)
  • Feeling like I cannot leave the house for long
  • Always rushing to get back home
  • The preemptive heartbreak of knowing we cannot win
  • Feeling like other people think I’m a drama queen
  • Being too tired to do much more than work and take care of Lilly
  • Feeling like I cannot have fun because there is too much going on
  • Constantly having to step around Lilly who often gets stuck, visually / cognitively / physically in one spot — and when I forget or misstep, popping her in the head or mouth with my legs

Other posts in this series:

4 thoughts on “Dog With Brain Inflammation – What I Won’t Miss

  1. Nancy
    November 14, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    I relate to so many things on your list, as my dog Carly (2 year old Pug) suffers from meningoencephalitis too. I won’t that she can’t go outside on walks any more because she may catch something. I won’t miss taking her to the vet several times a month, as she hyperventilates in the car because she suffers from anxiety. I won’t miss laundering her “pee towels” every day. I also have to be home five times a day for meds – fortunately I work from home. I could go on and on but you basically covered it all on your list. Most of all, I won’t miss having sad thoughts about missing Carly. I try and stay in the moment, but quite frankly I hate when people tell me to do that because they need to walk in my shoes for a day and see what it’s like to love someone so much and know that they won’t make it. I’m so glad I found your website!

  2. September 26, 2013 at 9:03 am

    You’re both following your heart and doing the hard work, both physically and mentally. Hugs to you.
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  3. September 26, 2013 at 8:21 am

    Heartbreaking stuff.
    Hugs to you and Lilly x

  4. September 26, 2013 at 8:10 am

    <3 I can totally understand. You're doing what you can, and I know Lilly is doing the best she can… thanks for writing this. Hugs, Rox.