How the Relapse Differs from the Original Adverse Vaccine Reaction

I’ve been told in the past perhaps I pay too much attention to the little details of Lilly’s presumed recovery from vaccine-induced meningoencephalomyelitis (inflammation of the brain, lining of the brain, and spinal cord). However, since we are together pretty much 24/7, it’s hard not to notice subtle differences. Here are some thoughts on how this recovery compares to her first recovery, right after the vaccine was given in late January 2012.

First Recovery

The first time, Lilly’s mental brightness and overall energy came back long before her motor control and balance. She was mostly herself personality-wise, but Lilly stumbled around for much longer upon her return home from her first week-long veterinary neurology hospitalization.

Lilly bounced back enough that just 2 months later … she could do agility again.

Other than the rampant diarrhea caused by meds, Lilly had no incontinence issues the first time. She ate and pottied normally, if you take into account the steroid-driven water mongering.

Lilly also, however, developed both high blood pressure and terrible nosebleeds the first time.

Second Recovery

This time around, 5 weeks since her massive relapse, Lilly regained her stability and balance on her feet sooner, but she remains somewhat mentally dull and often truly exhausted.

Her stamina is improving, but I’m not really pushing her physically at all. We walk from the house to our gate near the road a few times a day. She poked around outside with Tom recently and went up and down our middle pasture hill 3-4 times. He said the last climb up was slow and wobbly, but she did it.

I had stopped keeping an incontinence chart right before Lilly was hospitalized again in August because it was just too discouraging.

We’ve added one med intended to target the urinary incontinence. I think it might be helping, or improvements are happening some on that front, so I’m again keeping a chart for a while to assess progress … or not. Most often, I express her bladder for her, but the other night, Lilly did squat three times in a row and pee on her own.

She didn’t get much out … proven by expressing her immediately afterward, but she did go on her own a little.

Her pooping is still a mess. No improvements there, other than I can trigger her to go sometimes and avoid future messes that way.

Lilly still takes medicine for high-blood pressure, but we didn’t not suffer those awful nosebleeds this second time … nor did her tummy revolt from the meds with diarrhea.

How Lilly is Now

I’m taking fewer pictures and videos this time around because it’s much sadder. Originally, we considered the brain inflammation fleeting. After the relapse, we know otherwise, and the toll it’s taking on Lilly, along with the toll of treatment make for more discouraging photos and such.

Plus, I really do try to preserve her dignity by not showing daily photos of her in diapers.

I will really try to take more photos and videos so that you can see for yourself how she is. Essentially, she looks skinny / bony due to steroid-caused muscle wasting. Though, sometimes, she looks completely bloated. She moves slowly and deliberately, especially when trying to lie down.

She often forgoes beds and crates and sleeps on the cold tile floors. I’m not sure why.

Looking at the big picture, Lilly now …

• Eats well. We’ve doubled the size of her breakfasts and dinners, and we’ve added a normal size meal at lunch to try to help her regain lost weight.
• Is drinking quite a bit less water now that her steroid dose is down to 1.5 mg once a day of dexamethasone.
• Sleeps better, often only waking us to potty, eat, or drink 2-3 times a night (vs 10-12).
• Sleeps much of the day.
• Is restless in the evening.
• Occasionally sasses Ginko.
• Sometimes wants to play a few throws of fetch.
• Seems blankly happy (smiling and such), but without the edge of her classic border collie personality.
• Pants a lot (side-effect of the meds).

I’m sure the differences have a lot to do with the duration of the illness and how the parts of Lilly’s brain and brain stem are affected this time.

It turns out that I didn’t appreciate her first recovery as much as I probably should have. I assumed we would stay on that path. I never realized we’d end up at the intersection of Crap It Happened Again and This Might Not Turn Out well.

For now, I try very hard to take each day for whatever it is.

Today, Lilly is alive, walking, eating, smiling, and at my side. I understand now more than ever … that won’t always be the case.