We’ve long established that Lilly, our canine heroine, responds to every shift around her. That’s true at home. It’s true when we’re out in public. It’s true in the various dog training classes we take. Yet, Lilly responds to different emotions in different ways. She finds sadness much less “scary” than frustration or anger or generalized grumpiness.
All manner of life threatening and full-on terminal situations continue to swirl around us. It’s been that way for a long time with no resolution in sight. When you throw on top of that other everyday concerns about money, work, and goals, I promise you the swings of emotion become both frequent and strong.
Assume, until further notice, an effusive angst surrounds us, which I’m sure isn’t easy for Lilly. And, I feel terrible about that too. Most of the time, we’re pretty good at masking the frustration in our voices to avoid upsetting Lilly unnecessarily … because she seems to assume any stern tone of voice is aimed at her.
Sometimes we slip. And in sharing the details of our day, in trading tales of the nonstop baloney, our voices intensify, our tone shifts, a few curse words slip through. This causes Lilly either to:
- Get round headed, low, and wiggly
- Run / hide for anywhere between a few minutes and a few hours
Oddly enough, Lilly notices sadness, but it most often does not make her flee. Instead, she offers kisses and cuddles … or sometimes merely just serves as a witness to whatever brand of blue strikes that day or that moment.
Lilly’s empathetic response extends to full on wailing, which always surprises me.
There are greater woes in the world than mine, so I won’t enumerate what’s making me weepy here. Just know that I had a long, loud cry last Friday. An my girl remained by my side until I cried it all out … which took a while. Then, she stayed with me while I mustered whatever I had left to continue with my day.
I’m not sure how other people get through life without the love and compassion of a dog. Maybe everyone else has a better support system in place. Maybe they house more inner strength. Maybe they haven’t hit that stage in life where everything can go to blazes all at the same time.
Sorry to hear you are going through such difficult times. I hope and wish it will soon change for the better.
Kenzo and Viva are my first dogs. How I could cope with things before them, seems a mystery right now. True companions.
Sorry to hear you’re under some stress right now. I hope you can find some peace soon.
I think dogs and people are so good together because we both have complex emotional lives. We may never understand exactly how dogs process their emotions but it’s amazing to try.
I am always a little jealous of those of you with markedly empathetic dogs. Marge generally does not give a hoot what anyone’s feeling, though we do have quite a strong bond.
My cat, on the other hand, is very good at reading and responding to my emotions. Taco also provided something similar, just with his quiet presence.
I had a huge meltdown the day my very best friend asked me to come see her. You see she was dying of cancer and her family was a mess. I had said my goodbye and did not plan to see her again. So when the call came I collapsed on the floor. Norman immediately, came and sat beside me, Tasha (my friend’s dog that we welcomed into our family when she was no longer able to take care of her) came and sat in my lap…and Betsy came up gave me that look (just like Lilly in the picture) and then gave me a big french kiss. There is nothing like a dog’s tongue in your mouth to take the blues away!
My tears turned to laughter, and I had a wonderful last visit with my friend. Thank you for reminding me!
Every dog I’ve ever had has demonstrated an incredible knowledge of reading my emotions and responding accordingly. However, from my experience, fearful dogs seem to be even more in tune to the dynamics of human emotion. Perhaps it is their sense of always being on guard or on constant alert. Roxanne, your post is an honest reflection on almost every home I know — homes with or without dogs. As a Christian, there are times God feels so far away and I feel so incredibly alone. As an imperfect human I admit that I need the comfort of a loving nuzzle or a the simple act of a warm body laying quietly, but lovingly next to me. For me, my dogs have been that gift from God to remind me that I am not alone. Life can be overwhelming at times and like you, I cannot imagine how others get through without the love and compassion of a dog. I certainly don’t know how I would have gotten through the last two years without the love of my dogs. I’m glad you have Lily and Lily has you.
So sorry you are going through some rough times. There is no better support system than a dog, or 2 or as in my case 5. Although I supposedly “rescued” them it is truly the other way around. Some days they are my only reason for living. They can be seriously annoying at times but somehow they always know when I’m not feeling well or upset about something and you can see their attitude change and they take turns trying to comfort me. One of my babies, Tara (my profile picture) was a puppy mill surrender and is extremely fearful. At home she is the biggest love bug with me and her brothers and sisters but take her out of her house and yard and she literally freezes. She will try to bite anyone, dog or human that approaches her even if they are 10X her size. So after a year of trying to socialize her I have chosen to let her enjoy life on her terms in her safety zone. She sleeps curled around my neck and I am just happy that I can provide her with a small measure of the comfort that her and the others provide to me. Sending both you and Lily loving thoughts and many “woofs” Your posts are always one of the bright spots in our day.